We Solemnly Swear
by Herochick007
Summary: This is the new dumping ground for all my marauders fics. There will be fluff, there will be wolfstar, there will be jily. There will be odd questions and even more strange answers! But every fic will feature the marauders, and Lily! Rating to be safe!
1. Octopus

**A/N: I don't own Harry Potter **

**This is for the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry**

**Writing Club September**

**Disney challenge: Dialogue - 1. "It wasn't me, I swear."**

**Press Play: 12 - "We don't need perfection, we just need an octopus."**

**Bex's Basement: 13 - "There goes the last lingering thread of my heterosexuality." [Bonus 5 Points]**

**Trope of the Month: 9 -Word: Forbidden**

**Showtime: 5 - Epic I - (genre) Romance**

**Lyric Alley: 7 - One thing lead to another, we were young**

**September Monthly: Build a bear: Candy Sparkle Dress – Blue**

**Wacky Wand Makers: Wood – Alder - (color) rust**

**core – phoenix feather - (character) Remus Lupin**

**Word Count: 425**

Lily stared at the large aquarium that had managed to magically appear in the Gryffindor Common room. It was large enough for her to swim inside and at the moment it was empty.

"James!"

"What? It wasn't me, I swear," he yelled back from the boys' dorm. Lily sighed.

"I haven't even accused you of anything yet," she muttered as he appeared in the doorway wearing a pair of blue and rust pyjama pants and no shirt.

"What is this aquarium for? And don't say water polo!" James laughed ruffling his hair.

"Well, see, Sirius..." Lily rolled her eyes.

"Why does it always come down to Sirius?" she asked tilting her head, her red hair falling over her shoulder.

"Because it was his plan this time," James stated as if it were the most obvious thing on the planet.

"Perfect, just perfect. There's a giant aquarium in our common room, Sirius is behind it somehow, and I can't even study because it's in the way. Bloody perfect," she muttered shoving a chair against the wall.

"No, see, we don't need perfection, we just need an octopus," Sirius stated walking into the common room with Remus. Lily glared at both of them. Remus stepped back slightly, but Sirius ignored her. He filled the tank with water and smiled looking at it.

"Um, Sirius, would you care to explain this?" Lily asked getting in between him and the aquarium.

"Well, see, you told James that you'd rather date the giant squid than him. Well, we're forbidden from taking the squid from the lake and so, an octopus is close enough, right?" Lily put her head in her hands.

"I am not dating an octopus."

"So, does that mean you'll date James?" Sirius asked hopefully. Remus watched the pair trying not to look interested.

"I'm not dating anyone, seriously! Get this thing out of here so I can study for our charms test. I mean it."

"Are you sure? It's big enough to swim in, " Sirius commented taking off his shirt. Remus blinked at Sirius' naked chest.

"Well, there goes the last lingering thread of my heterosexuality," he muttered staring at Sirius. Sirius gave him a wink and climbed into the aquarium, jumping in with a loud 'splash'. Remus followed him after a moment.

"C'mon, Lily, it's been hot out, a nice swim would cool you down," James stated. Lily sighed.

"Fine, but after this, the aquarium moves out of our common room, and not in my dorm either," she stated summoning her swimsuit and climbing in.


	2. Betting on the Squid

**A/N: I don't own Harry Potter **

**This is for Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry**

**Hangman - Word: wager**

**Word Count: 450**

"Five knuts," James said tossing a roll towards the whomping willow.

"I see you wager and raise you two sickles," Sirius stated pulling a handful of coins from his pocket. Remus stared at the two and shook his head.

"You're both insane, you know that?"

"Lily told me the same thing this morning, actually."

"Why? Wait, do I even want to know?"

"I asked her out again. She said 'no'. So I told her that I needed help with my potions homework, that we were brewing amortenia and mine smelled off. So, I asked her what it smelled like to her." Remus shook his head.

"She dumped it on your head, didn't she? Is that why I've been smelling wet dog all day?"

"Hey! I do not smell like a wet dog!" Sirius yelled.

"Never said you did," Remus commented. James shook his head at the two of them.

"Back to the game, guys. See, look the squid's almost to the surface! And I take your raise and call," James added as Sirius put his coins in the pile the pair was building under the tree. The willow moved as if to smack them, but they just laughed and ducked out of the way.

"You know what, fine," Remus said tossing his coins into the pile. James and Sirius stared at him. He smiled.

"I wager the squid will throw the apple at James' head," he stated.

"No way! He's going to eat it," Sirius stated. James shook his head.

"You're both wrong, he's going ignore it entirely," he argued.

"What are you idiots betting on now?" a voice asked from the tree. They looked up. Lily was sitting between the branches eating an apple. They stared at her.

"How!?"

"Lily! Get down before the willow whomps you! Here, jump, I'll catch you," James offered. Lily laughed.

"The willow likes me," she said sliding down. "Squid's up," she pointed out. James quickly turned and threw an apple towards the squid. The squid caught it.

"Look, he's going to eat it!"

"Well, he didn't ignore it, you're out James." The squid wrapped his tentacle around the apple, looked at it, and the proceeded to lob it at James' head. Remus burst out laughing.

"Shut up, Moony," Sirius muttered as Remus collected his winnings.

"You three are idiots," Lily muttered tossing the remains of her apple to the squid. It proceeded to repeat the process, this time actually hitting Sirius.

"Ow! Help, I've been mortally wounded by the squid! The only thing that can save me is the kiss of a beautiful girl!"

"Guess you're doomed then," Lily laughed as Sirius and Remus tried to drag James off to the infirmary.


	3. Alive

**A/N: I don't own Harry Potter or any related characters**

**This is for the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry**

**Writing club September:**

**Assorted Appreciation: 6 - Donna Noble - Relationship: Friendship. Alt - Dialogue: "You're not mating with me, sunshine!"**

**Disney Challenge: Dialogue – 3 "I've never felt so alive!" / "Good, because I'm gonna kill ya!"**

**Showtime: 3 - Come Home With Me - (word) Alive**

**September Monthly Build a bear: Monster Sounds – Daring**

**Insane prompt challenge: 520 – setting: Funfair**

**word count: 439**

"See, I told you it was safe!" Lily stated as the tilt a whirl spun faster. James screamed loudly.

"I didn't know muggle things could be so fun," he said as the ride finally slowed to a stop. "Can we do it again?"

"We can, but there's more things to do if you're interested. There's a food row and games," Lily replied. James smiled eagerly.

"Food!" he exclaimed grabbing Lily's hand. She laughed. She had invited James to the funfair because, well, she wasn't sure why exactly. Maybe the idea of getting to know him, as friends, away from the bad influences of Sirius and Peter, was something she had realized she wished to pursue. The pair stopped and got some cotton candy and a funnel cake. James also had two hot dogs and a fried pickle on a stick.

"What do you want to do next, games or go on another ride?" she asked. James looked around trying to decide. He wasn't used to being around this many muggles. Lily had made him leave his wand at her house. She'd promised it would be safe. He couldn't believe he was getting to spend the whole day with her. Sirius had said that her asking him to this fair was a good sign that maybe she liked him.

"How about that ride?" he suggested to something large and with a lot of mechanical legs.

"The Spyder? It's a little wild," she said. "It goes around really fast and the little seats turn upside down," she explained. "Maybe we should play some games since we just ate?" James smiled wider.

"Perfect! C'mon," he stated pulling her along with him as he ran towards the ride. He'd never figured muggles would have figured out how to make things that could do such fun things. Lily shook her head in exasperation as they boarded the Spyder. True to her word, it went fast and threw her and James upside down and side to side. James laughed the entire time. When it finally stopped James looked a smidgen green.

"You okay?" she asked?

"I've never felt so alive!" he yelled before puking all over Lily. She stared at him.

"Good, because I'm going to kill you!" Lily exclaimed looking at her ruined outfit and dripping hair. James gave her a sorry look.

"If I had my wand..." She stared at him and burst out laughing.

"We're both still underaged anyway. Come on, let's get the both of us cleaned," she said leading him towards the row of port a potties. She figured they could find some paper towels and water at least.


	4. Leave it to Reggie

**A/N: I don't own Harry Potter**

**This is for the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry**

**Insane Prompt Challenge: 849: Relationship - flatmate**

**Assorted Appreciation: 17 - Craig Owens - Roommate/flatmate!AU. Alt - Dialogue: "Has anyone ever told you that you're a bit weird?"**

**Disney Challenge: Songs 3 - Strangers Like Me - Write about feeling a sense of belonging**

**Showtime: 6 - Livin' it Up on Top - (drink) Wine**

**Amber's Attic: 29 - Sirius and Regulus Black**

**Press Play: 21 - "They're my eyes, I do what I like with them."**

**Liza's Loves: 11 - Noble - Write about a noble. Alt: Item: a signet/family ring**

**Angel's Archives: 5 - "[Name], go be stupid somewhere else."**

**Bex's Basement: 11- "Well, I'm not calling you a liar, but… I can't think of a way to finish that sentence."**

**September Monthly Build a bear: (Trope) Didn't Know They Were Dating**

**Word Count: 904**

"Moony! Have you seen my coffee cup?" Sirius yelled from the kitchen. Remus blinked one eye open and groaned. Him and Sirius had moved into together last week, as friends. Neither could afford the flat by themselves.

"It's in the cabinet."

"I looked there!" Sirius called back. Remus sighed but got out of his bed and made his way to the kitchen.

"This mug?" he asked opening the cabinet door and handing a black mug to Sirius.

"Yes! That one, I need my coffee, Reggie's coming over to help us finish setting up the place.

"Your brother Reggie?"

"Yeah, mum's in a right state about me moving out and Reggie's trying to help me rebuild the stupid bridge or something," Sirius answered pouring himself a cup of coffee. "Want one?" Remus shook his head.

"It's too early for a bottle of wine, isn't it?"

"My father drinks fire whiskey every morning," Sirius replied. Remus rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

"What time is Reggie coming?" Sirius glanced at the clock hanging on the wall.

"About now," he answered as the door swung open. Remus yelped and quickly pulled his bathrobe closed. Sirius laughed loudly, the sound reminding Remus of a dog barking. He wondered if that was a trait Sirius had developed after becoming an animagus.

"Ahh, Remus, Siri, my two favorite people," Regulus stated waltzing into the room. He glanced around the kitchen. "Place looks quite... muggle, if I'm being honest. Mum's furious about you living here, Siri. There's a great place for sale over on Hedgemoge. More of our type, if you know what I mean?" Remus sighed.

"I'm going to go get dressed," he stated walking out of the kitchen. It had been Sirius' idea to live in a muggle London. He wanted to ride his bike as much as possible. Most wizards were not keen on sharing their paths a motorcycle.

Remus returned a few minutes later wearing a t-shirt with a wolf on it and a pair of cut off jean shorts. Sirius glanced at him, his eyes looking his roommate over.  
"Sirius, shouldn't you be watching the eggs you're cooking?" he asked. Reggie had slid into the empty seat at the table.

"They're my eyes, I do what I like with them," Sirius replied quickly turning his attention back to breakfast.

"So have you got everything moved, or is there still some stuff at the manor?" Reggie asked.

"It's all here, we just need to get things unpacked and set up," Remus answered leaning against the wall. Reggie was in his seat. He nodded.

"Sounds good, breakfast first," Sirius said serving the over cooked eggs. Remus shook his head and ate his eggs anyway. At least Sirius was trying.

Once they finished breakfast, the three started working on setting up the flat. Remus grabbed the first box, one of his, and started unpacking.

"What's in there?" Reggie asked.

"Photos, here's one of me and Sirius."

"You two make a cute couple!"

"We're not a couple."

"Really, cause you're holding hands in that picture."

"Reggie, go be stupid somewhere else. We're not a couple!"

"Fine, fine, I'll go help Sirius. But you two do look cute." Remus glared at Regulus before gently placing the framed picture on the mantle. They weren't a couple. Sure they had gone out to get milkshakes, just the two of them. And there had been that time they'd sneaked into a movie theater together... That didn't mean anything!

Sirius had just finished putting the last of the cutlery away when Reggie joined him.

"Hey, bro, what's with Remus? He nearly bit my head off." Sirius sighed.

"What'd you say to him now?"

"Nothing, I just said the two of you make a cute couple. He tried to claim you weren't a couple."

"We're not," Sirius said. Reggie rolled his eyes.

"Well, I'm not calling you a liar, but… I can't think of a way to finish that sentence. You and Remus are most definitely a couple. The way you two act around each other, I bet you finish each others' sentences."

"We don't," Sirius stated. He glanced towards the living room where Remus was putting up more photos. "Well, maybe once or twice..."

"And you argue about stupid things, and make up? And the thought of being without him makes your chest hurt?" Reggie asked giving Sirius a look.

"Merlin's soggy buttock!" Reggie burst out laughing. Remus darted in.

"What's so funny, Padfoot?"

"Remus, what do people who are a couple do?" Sirius asked.  
"They hang out, just the two of them... They go to places together..."

"Like the movies?"

"Like the movies."

"And... they move in together?"

"Bloody hell! We're a couple!" Reggie laughed even harder as Remus tried to smack him.

"See, I told you so," he commented. "By the way, I filched this for you, Sirius," he said tossing him a small gold item. Sirius caught it and rolled his eyes.

"Really? The family ring?"

"Thought you might need it sooner or later," Reggie laughed before darting out the front door.

"Your brother..."

"Is an annoying little bugger, yes, but if we're dating, does that mean I get a kiss?" Sirius asked. Remus laughed shaking his head.

"Sure, why not," he answered leaning in towards Sirius and kissing him. He had to admit, he rather liked the feeling, as though the pair of them belonged right here with each other.


	5. Tangerine

**A/N: I don't own Harry Potter or any related characters.**

**This is for the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry**

**Writing Club September**

**Assorted Appreciation: 19 - Nardole - Word: Oath. Alt - Dialogue: "Your missus wouldn't approve."**

**Word Count: 334**

James stood in the shop and smiled. The curtains were perfect. They were made of a lacy fabric and were a bright orange color. He looked at the tag. They were listed as color – tangerine. That made him smile even brighter. Lily loved tangerines! She loved to eat one at breakfast while reading the morning paper and commenting how idiotic the current minister was.

"I'll take these," he announced. "And three cans of matching paint," he added. The witch at the counter blinked a few times.

"Mr. Potter, your missus wouldn't approve, and you know it. She actually wrote me a list of instructions involving you and your purchases."

"Come off it, Marley. You know as well as I do Lily will love these curtains." Marlene shook her head.

"Just trying to warn you, James. Here's the note she gave me, see, it explicitly says no orange paint. And you just asked for three cans of it."

"It's not orange. It's tangerine," James countered with a smirk. "Please, Lily will love it once she sees it. She'd been eating almost nothing but tangerines for breakfast since last month. Just think, she'll open her eyes to a beautifully painted tangerine colored nursery."

"And promptly hex you into oblivion?" Marlene asked. James sighed.

"Fine, fine, if the note says no paint, no paint. I'm still buying the curtains. Does it say no curtains?"

"No."

"Perfect. These curtains and could you mix up three cans of tangerine paint? I'll have Sirius or Remus pick it up later." Marlene shook her head and laughed ringing James up.

"Lily's going to kill you one of these days, you know that?"

"Yup, and I'm the luckiest man in world because of it. Thanks, Marley, I'll see you around." James smiled stepping out the shop with the lacy tangerine curtains and apparated home, hoping Lily wasn't there and he could sneak the purchase inside without her finding it. He had a feeling the next list Lily wrote would include curtains.


	6. Overboard

**A/N: I don't own Harry Potter or any related characters**

**This is for the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry**

**Season Challenge Autumn:**

**Days of the Year: ******17th October: Wear Something Gaudy Day:****** Write about someone making their point dramatically.**

**Bake a Cake: Ice the Cake – Butter - [Character] James Potter**

**Star Chart Challenge: ******September 23rd - September Equinox:****

**Prompt: Write about someone crossing the line**

**Religious Holidays/Events: ******30th September: Rosh HaShanah Starts (Jewish)****** \- Action: Shouting**

**History of Autumn: Season of Autumn - 15. During autumn, many birds prepare for winter migration, while other animals practice their mating instincts.**

**Prompt: Write about someone trying to get a boyfriend/girlfriend**

**Writing Club September**

**Book Club: 6 - ******Peter******\- Word: Assumption / "What the hell's going on around here?" / Emotion: Shame / Getting shot (or hit with a spell) / Action: Frowning at others / Bringing someone dinner**

**Word Count: 631**

"What the hell's going on around here?" Lily asked looking around the Gryffindor common room. She had just come down from the girls' dorm to try and finish her homework before class. She knew she shouldn't have left it for the last minute. Something always seemed to come up, and that something was almost always James Potter. The whole room had been decorated in hearts and flowers. All the flowers were various types and colors of lilies. "I'm under the assumption James did the decorating?"

"Lily, good morning, happy Valentine's Day!" Sirius announced walking out of the boys' dorm wearing only his pyjama bottoms. Lily glared at him.

"Sirius. Please explain why it looks like a flower shop exploded in our common room. There isn't a single surface that isn't covered in lilies, or sparkly pink hearts, or some sort of Valentine's Day thing!"

"It's really a simple explanation this time, Lils. See, James wanted to do something for your Valentine's Day, and well, he might have gone a bit overboard?" Sirius answered giving her a smile. She ignored it.

"A bit? I can't even sit down and do my homework, Sirius!"

"A bit more than a bit?" Remus suggested appearing behind Sirius. Lily could see James had also joined the other boys. She frowned at the whole lot of them.

"James Fleamont Potter, come out here and get this mess cleaned up!" she shouted. James slunk out from behind Sirius and Remus and flashed Lily a huge smile.

"Hi, Lily Flower! Happy Valentine's Day!" Lily sighed shaking her head. How could one boy be so infuriating? And so... cute?

"This is a bit much, isn't it?" she asked gesturing to the abundance of lilies and glittering hearts.

"I wasn't sure what kind to get, so I ordered one of everything in the shop. The shop girl looked at me like I was crazy!"

"You are crazy," Lily muttered. "James, I still have to do my homework, could you please relocate some of these things somewhere else? And not my bed!" she added as James burst out laughing banishing a few of the flowers so Lily could at least sit down.

"So, Lily, I got you flowers and I did buy you some chocolates, but Remus kind of ate them all..."

"I did not!"

"Hush, I'll buy you more," Sirius hissed. "Let James use you as a scapegoat this time." Lily shook her head and glared at James.

"Flowers and chocolates, really original Potter. I can't think with all these flowers. I'm going to finish my homework in the library before class. And no, buying me more flowers than a freaking field does not mean I'm going to go out with you," she added stepping through the portrait hole. James watched her leave.

"I thought I really had it figured out this time, guys," he muttered. Not hearing a response he glanced over at Remus and Sirius and glared.

"Guys, you can snog later, right now I'm trying to figure out why Lily won't go out with me!"

"Because you over did it," Remus stated breaking apart from Sirius. "Two lilies would have been better. Instead you overwhelmed her to the point of making her dislike you again," Remus explained.

"So I should cancel the singing Cupid I ordered to serenade her at breakfast?"

"Yes!" Remus and Sirius shouted at the same time. James blinked and sighed.

"I'm never going to understand girls, and you two are really no help at all," he muttered as Sirius and Remus had slipped back to the dorm. James shook his head and darted off to cancel the singing Cupid. "Or... better idea, make the stupid thing sing to Remus from Sirius," he laughed knowing one of them was going to kill him.


	7. Yet Another Bad Idea

**A/N: I don't own Harry Potter**

**This is for the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry**

**Writing Club September**

**Disney Challenge: Dialogue – 5 - "He's got it! Oh. Perhaps not."**

**Angel's Archieves: 10 - "Will I ever win?"**

**Word Count: 474**

"Did he get it?"

"He's got it! Oh. Perhaps not," Sirius stated watching a very annoyed and wet Lily walk into the common room. She glanced over at Sirius and Remus and glared.

"Nope, he did not get it," Remus said was Lily stomped over to them.

"Who the bloody hell gave James the idea that a boat ride across the lake would be romantic? Or that I was even remotely interested in taking one with him?" Remus pointed to Sirius, while Sirius tried, and failed to look innocent.

"So you told him to kidnap me, put me in a boat, and then row across the lake?"

"I said nothing about kidnapping! Only that you would probably think it was a stupid idea..."

"Wow, for once you're actually wrong. It would have been romantic if he had told me the idea ahead of time."

"But then you would have said 'no'," Sirius whined. "I'm sick of hearing James whine about you saying 'no' to every single one of his ideas."

"And how many of these ideas have actually been James' and not yours, or yours," she pointed to Remus, "or Peter's?"

"Peter's never given James an idea, I don't think he's even got a romantic bone in his body," Sirius muttered. "And my ideas are brilliant! See, this one would have worked. Not my fault James messed it up."

"If all those ideas were yours, maybe I should be dating you and not trying to escape from James?" Lily grumbled. "And I think the stupid squid was jealous, it yanked me into the water."

"Well, um... James and the squid have a complicated and complex relationship. I think it might have a crush on him. He did feed it apples." Lily sighed.

"I'm going to get changed into some dry clothes that don't stink of lake. When I get back down here, Sirius, we're going to have sirius talk about you, James, and the giant squid, got it?" Sirius nodded as Lily stormed off.

"Did she just make a sirius joke?"

"Yes, yes she did... Do you think James would be mad if I asked her out?" Sirius asked suddenly. Remus shook his head.

"That's probably your worst idea ever, Padfoot."

"Maybe, maybe not, I'm going to go for it. Cover for me if she comes back, I'm going to go put on cologne or something. I smell like a wet dog," he muttered darting off towards the boys' dorm. Remus stared at Sirius' retreating back and sighed.

"Will I ever win?" he asked the suddenly empty common room. "And what's wrong with the wet dog smell, I like it," he added to himself wondering if he could stop Sirius from asking out Lily, if James was going to kill them both, and if Sirius would ever realize just how much Remus loved him?


	8. James and the Giant Squid

**A/N: I don't own Harry Potter.**

**This is for the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry**

**Season Challenges: Autumn**

**Days of the Year: ******19th November: Have a Bad Day Day:****** Write about someone having a bad day.**

**Seasonal Challenge Autumn: 2. (word) Chilly**

**Religious Holidays/Events: ******3rd November: Ashtahnika Vidhan Begins (Jainism) -****** Object: Photograph**

**Word Count: 628**

James Potter had just fallen asleep leaning against a tree by the lake. He'd spent most of the day cleaning up a mess of whipped cream without using magic. He should have never listened to Sirius' idea of making the whole Great Hall look like it was covered in snow. Sure, Lily had noticed him, but at what cost? She'd called him an idiot again, only this time, he swore it was with a note of affection. Maybe it had been worth it? Three days detention, cleaning the whole Great Hall, seeing Sirius' face when he'd hit him with a ball of whipped cream...

He was dreaming of Lily when something wet landed in his lap. His eyes flew open and he looked down. In his lap was a large wad of seaweed mixed with some pond fonds, a few pearls and somehow the whole mess was tied together with a faded red ribbon. He stared at it for a moment wondering why the bloody hell someone would throw an aquatic bouquet at him. Something splashed from the lake pulling his attention.

The squid was sunning itself. When it saw James, it waved its tentacles widely towards him. He looked back at the watery mess of plants.

"You've got to be kidding me," he muttered. "I finally might have gotten to Lily to notice me and the freaking squid is asking me out?" He rose, wiped the water off his robe and walked over to the bank of the lake.

"Squid, look, you're really cool, but we're different species, it isn't going to work! I can't breathe underwater." The squid splashed him and dove back under the surface. James sighed. When had his life become such a joke, he wondered. A few moments later the squid resurfaced holding a weird looking plant. It threw the plant to James. He recognized it as gillyweed from one of his textbooks.

"Fine, one swim, but that's it," he agreed sliding his shoes and clothes off before using the gillyweed and diving into the chilly lake.

He surfaced an hour later to find his clothes gone, replaced with a blank note.

"Padfoot, Moony, this isn't funny!" he shouted. He shook the paper and tried to make it reveal what stupid thing his friends wanted now. Instead of words appearing, a photo of him kissing the giant squid covered the page. James growled and hurriedly made his way back to the castle covering himself with a tree branch.

Remus, Sirius, and Lily were sitting in the common room when James stumbled in, dropping the tree branch in the process. Lily blinked and shook her head.

"If this is another stupid attempt to get me to go out with you, Potter, you're definitely dreaming," she stated nodding to his exposed body. James blushed and darted off to get dressed. He appeared a moment later, fully dressed.

"They stole my clothing!"

"Prove it," Sirius said looking at book upside down.

"The squid seemed to approve," Remus commented turning Sirius' book right side up. Sirius blinked in surprise as he was suddenly able to read it.

"I do not love the stupid squid!' James yelled waving the picture in the air.

"Are you sure about that?" Lily asked laughing at the picture. "Well, I certainly can't compete with tentacles and being a giant squid. I wish you two the best of luck, Potter. See you later," she added walking out of the tower. James sank into a chair and sighed.

"Am I ever going to get her to notice me?"

"Give up on her, go with the squid," Sirius stated. James glared at him and threw a pillow at his head.

"Shut up, Padfoot," he grumbled causing Remus to shake his head while Sirius laughed hysterically.


	9. His Pretty Pretty Princess

**A/N: I don't own anything you recognize, obviously.**

**This is for the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry**

**Autumn Funfair: Apple picking – tree 3- 2 - (setting) Great Hall**

**Seasonal Challenges Autumn**

**Days of the Year: ******3rd October: National Boyfriends Day:****** Write a slash pairing.**

**Color Prompts: 10. Taupe**

**Elemental Challenge: Air - 1. Gemini: Remus/Sirius**

**Ravenclaw Challenge: (object) Ravenclaw's Diadem**

**Religious Holidays/Events: ******22nd October: Simchat Torah (Jewish)****** \- Write about someone dancing.**

**Writing Club October**

**Disney Challenge: Characters - 4. Winnie Sanderson - Write about someone being melodramatic.**

**All Sorts of Space: 3 - "I'm sure the universe is full of intelligent life. It's just been too intelligent to come here." ― Arthur C. Clarke**

**Liza's Loves: 23 - Trickery Domain - Write a Robin-Hood!AU - ******Alt:****** Write about one (or more) of the four Marauders**

**Angel's Archive: 12 - Deadly Secrets - write about a secret that causes trouble to keep / alt. Write about a secret crush**

**Sophie's Shelf: 10. Veltins Pilsener: (era) Marauder**

**word count: 621**

"I'm a pretty, pretty princess," Remus sang waltzing around the Great Hall. Sirius blinked and stared at the frilly pink dress Remus was wearing. His hair was held back with sparkly flower shaped clips and he was wearing a diamond tiara that Sirius swore he'd seen in the history books. Not that he ever read a history book!

"Yes, you're a very pretty princess," Sirius stated glancing around. No one else had noticed Remus' costume yet. Sirius was certain Remus was drunk. Alright, who was he kidding, he knew Remus was drunk because he was the one who had spiked the punch. It had been James' idea. He thought maybe Lily would lighten up a little once she'd had a sip or two. Judging by the way she was yelling at James, Sirius had a feeling the plan hadn't worked out.

"Typical. James messes up and I have to clean up things," he muttered trying to catch Remus who had decided that princesses did ballet on tabletops. How the bloody hell was he supposed to get Remus out of the Great Hall before he did something stupid? Sirius looked around the room. James certainly wouldn't help, and Peter was Merlin only knew where.

"Where's that bloody rat when you need him?" Sirius muttered sticking his hands into his pockets. His fingers curled around a piece of chocolate; he smiled. Perfect, Remus would do anything for a piece of chocolate.

"Princess," Sirius called holding up the chocolate. It was a nice sized slab from Honey Dukes. Sirius didn't remember putting it in his pocket, but he was glad he had it. Remus did a ballet jump off the table, landed on his toes and, because he had no balance on his toes, fell against Sirius.

"Thought you were going to catch me, Padfoot," Remus slurred. Sirius rolled his eyes handing Remus the chocolate.

"I didn't do ballet, Moony. I wouldn't know the first thing about how to catch someone jumping off a table in a dress."

"Right," Remus said licking the chocolate off his fingers and wrapping his arms around Sirius. "Wanna dance? You smell pretty!"

"You're drunk, Moony. I should get you back to the common room before we get in trouble."

"One dance with me and then you can take me back to your room," Remus stated. Sirius felt his face flush. Remus was standing almost uncomfortably close now; Sirius could smell his aftershave. He had to admit he found the scent irresistable.

"One dance," he agreed after a moment. "Then I'm taking you back to the dorm so you can sleep this off, got it?"

"Got it, Padfoot," Remus agreed wrapping his arms around Sirius and grabbing his behind. Sirius blinked.

"Moony!"

"You bought me chocolate, danced with me, offered to take me back to your place, I think it's acceptable," Remus stated with a smirk. Sirius sighed. Drunk Remus was fun, but he had a feeling his mate wouldn't remember a bit of this in the morning.

"If it were anyone else..."

"What? I'm not pretty enough for you, Padfoot?" Remus asked twirling. His skirt flared around him leaving glitter in its wake.

"You're beautiful, Moony. Beautiful and drunker than I've ever seen you. Come on, before one of us does something he'll regret in the morning," Sirius said leading Remus from the Great Hall not mentioning he was slowly becoming the one who wanted to do something he'd regret. Remus followed Sirius to the tower. Sirius gave the password and the pair trooped inside. Remus finally passed out in a comfy taupe colored arm chair while Sirius sat next to him wondering if he'd missed his only chance to tell Remus how he honestly felt about him.


	10. Hooligans

**A/N: I don't own Harry Potter**

**This is for the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry**

**Insane Prompt challenge: 19 – word -hooligan**

**Writing Club October**

**Disney Challenge: Songs - 3. Sarah's Theme - Write about someone or something that is alluring.**

**Liza's Loves: 29 - War Domain -War God's Blessing - Write about assisting someone BONUS - Trickery - Sirius Black**

**Amber's Attic Scream: 4- (relationship) best friends**

**Marvel Appreciation: 11 - Helmut Zemo - Plot Point: Trying to tear something (team/couple/family) apart. ******[Bonus]****

****Word Count: 434****

"You're nothing but a bunch of hooligans! Get off my property!" James laughed as he and Sirius darted off the property. Remus was standing on the sidewalk shaking his head.

"What did you two think was going to happen? That you wouldn't get caught?"

"Nah, we planned to get caught at least. Did you get it Padfoot?"

"I got it!" Sirius yelled happily holding up an object. Remus blinked unable to believe what Sirius was holding.

"You stole your brother's prefect badge, really?"

"Reggie's going to go crazy looking for it," Sirius laughed waving it in the air. "Just wait until Father realizes I was the one who broke into the house. They really should change the wards, after all. I could still just walk right in, what happened to being disowned?"

"It's probably in name only that way you get nothing in the will," James stated. "They're hoping Reggie will be a good influence and rub off on you," he added with a laugh.

"Reggie? A good influence? He's a little boot licker, maybe I should start hanging out with him more? We could convince him to come to our side, just think about the pranks we could play on the Slytherins if one of them was with us!" Sirius howled with laughter causing James and Remus to exchange a glance.

"Sirius, Reggie's not going to change sides, we saw him with someone."

"Who?"

"Barty Jr, you know, Mr. Gung ho wants to be a Death Eater to piss off his father?"

"That tosser? C'mon, we're way better than him. What's he got that we don't?" Sirius asked was the trio made their way back towards the Potters' house.

"They were snogging, really going at it," Remus said. "I think he might like him for that reason."

"Really? Just 'cause Barty can snog? James, go snog my brother so he'll join our side."

"I'd rather not, Sirius, I'd much rather snog Lily... or even the Giant Squid over your little brother. He's got that mustache and it would tickle."

"Remus?"

"I only have eyes for you, Sirius, you know that. Besides, if they like each other, we shouldn't be trying to break them apart because you think it would be funny to prank the Slytherins from inside their own house. Imagine if someone was trying to break us up for something so... juvenile?" Sirius paused, his face going serious for a moment.

"I know! I'll see if Wormy will do it!" he exclaimed as James and Remus shook their heads already trying to figure out a way to stop Sirius' latest insane plan.


	11. Just Right (genderfluid Sirius)

**A/N: I don't own Harry Potter**

**This is for the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry**

**Writing Club October**

**Assorted Appreciation: 14 - "You know what? I just had a very clever idea."**

**All Sorts of Space: 19 - "I can do this… I can start over. I can save my own life and I'm never going to be alone as long as I have stars to wish on and people to still love." ― Jennifer Elisabeth**

**Press Play: 14 - (gender) Non-binary**

**Word Count: 399**

Sirius stood in the middle of the common room looking at the two pathways. One led upstairs to the girls' dorm, the other to the boys'.

"What's wrong, Sirius?" James asked looking at his new friend.

"I don't know which one is right. I mean, right now, I think the boys' dorm is right, but tomorrow, I'm not really one or the other," Sirius answered hoping James wouldn't yell and call him names. He got enough of that from his family. He shuddered remembering the time he'd tried to explain things and his father had destroyed his purple lace parasol.

"So, you're not a boy or a girl?" Remus asked blinking. He'd known people were different, but he'd never heard of someone like that before. Peter stared at Sirius as if trying to make sense of this idea.

"Sometimes I feel like a boy, and sometimes I feel like a girl. I like frilly skirts and sparkly things, but I also wear slacks and throw dungbombs."

"Maybe we could ask one of the prefects, they said to come to them if we had any questions?" Peter suggested.

"I think they've already gone to bed," Sirius whispered. "Maybe I should just sleep in the boys' dorm?"

"But what about tomorrow, what if you're a she tomorrow?" Remus asked. "Then you wouldn't be in the right place, no, that's not fair to you."

"You know what? I just had a very clever idea. We could sleep down here, at least until we can ask someone what Sirius should do, the common room has plenty of space. I'll grab some blankets and we can have a sleepover out here by the fire place!" James suggested. Sirius smiled.

"That sounds great, could we tell ghost stories?"

"Sure, here, Sirius, put your blankets here, Remus here, Peter there, and I'll be over here. There, everyone settled?"

"Yes, can I tell the first story?" Sirius asked with a smirk.

"Go ahead, I don't know any good ones," Remus answered.

"Once upon a time, there was a deep dark forest, and in the forest lived a headless stag," Sirius started. Peter let out a squeak and dove under his blankets. Sirius smiled. Despite the fact he was sleeping on the floor in the common room, he couldn't be happier at this moment. He only hoped his new friends would still like him when he was she.


	12. Marry Me?

**A/N: I don't own Harry Potter**

**This is for the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry**

**Assignment #8 **

**History of Magic - ******Task #1 - Perseus Parkinson (1726-1733)******\- Write about a pairing made from two people of different purity (e.g. pureblood/muggle-born, halfblood/muggle)**

**Writing Club November**

**Disney Challenge: Themes – 3: Romance - [Genre] Romance**

**Trope of the Month: 12 - Character: James Potter**

**Showtime: 10 - Revenge Party - (relationship) Friends**

**Word Count: 411**

"Remus, will you marry me?" Sirius asked.

"No," Peter answered. He was sitting in one of the chairs in the common room. He was wearing Remus' bathrobe to help him get into character.

"No, no, he's supposed to say 'yes!' What's the point of doing this if you're just going to make a joke out of it?" Sirius asked throwing his hands in the air. "This is too important to me! You said you'd help me, Wormy!"

"But he might say 'no'," Peter stated. "So I am helping you, I'm getting you to accept the fact he might say 'no'.

"He's not going to say 'no', Peter. He loves me, I love him. He's going to say 'yes'," Sirius stated glaring at Peter.

"Your problem is that you're making Peter play Remus in this little farce. I could do a much better Remus," James stated proudly. Sirius blinked.

"Fine, you're Remus. Peter, go guard the door, let us know when Remus is coming," Sirius ordered. Peter scampered off to guard the door.

"Alright, Remus, my love, will you marry me?"

"That's how you're going ask? You didn't even get down on one knee!"

"Fine, fine, you're right. I need to do this right," Sirius agreed. He pulled the ring box from his pocket, got down on one knee in front of James, and held the open ring box up to him. "Remus, my love, my life, would do me the honor of marrying me?"

"Yes," a voice answered from behind Sirius. Sirius fell over trying to scramble to his feet. James was trying not to laugh.

"Remus! Peter! You failed at guarding the door!" Sirius yelled as he climbed to his feet.

"Never mind that. You were planning to propose to me?"

"Yes, Prongs and Wormy were helping me, I'm sorry, I meant for it to be all romantic, not something you overheard walking into the common room."

"Padfoot, it was perfect and yes, yes, yes!" Remus exclaimed wrapping his boyfriend, now fiance, in a passionate hug.

"I love you, Moony."

"I love you too, Padfoot, now, who should we announce our engagement to first?"

"I was thinking, maybe we should tell Professor McGonagall, I'm sure she'll want to know, before someone catches us snogging in the hallway again?"

"Hey, can you grab me a biscuit from her office?" James asked. Sirius and Remus exchanged a glance and burst out laughing. They both agreed the day couldn't get any better.


	13. Telling Sirius (SiriusLily)

**A/N: I don't own Harry Potter **

**This is for the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry **

**Writing Club November**

**Bex's Basement: "A baby? A motherf**king roly-poly, chubby, cheeked, sh*t machine? Are you kidding me?" / "I've never heard a baby described that way, but sure." (You can remove the swearing if you wish)**

**Word Count: 372**

"Sirius, are you even listening to what I said?" Lily asked.

"What? Something about needing to buy paint and biscuits since Remus ate yours?" Sirius asked studying his shoe. Lily rolled her eyes. Ever since they'd managed to bond after James' untimely death in a Quidditch accident, Lily often wondered if Sirius ever actually listened or if he was just a really, really good guesser.

"Well, yes, but why do we need to buy paint?"

"Because the office is the wrong color, it's blue and it maybe needs to be pink?" he asked. Lily blinked. So he had sort of been listening?

"And why might we need to paint it pink?"

"Because..." he paused as if trying to think of the reason. Lily watched him, waiting to see how long it took him to possibly replay the whole conversation in his head until he got to the conclusion. "Wait... because of the baby. A baby? A motherf**king roly-poly, chubby cheeked, sh*t machine? Are you kidding me?"

"I've never heard a baby described that way, but sure," Lily answered. "Our roly-poly, chubby cheeked baby," she replied. Sirius stared at her in disbelief.

"I'm going to be a father?"

"Unless I've been sleeping with Remus while you're not watching," she commented sarcastically rolling her emerald eyes. Sirius barked out a laugh.

"This is... this is amazing, just wait until I tell everyone! Wait, who else knows? Does Remus know?"

"No, not yet. I know, you know, and Alice knows."

"Why did you tell Alice first!?"

"She's my midwife, you dolt," Lily laughed. Sirius nodded trying to look slightly serious for a moment.

"So, we need paint, and biscuits, and a crib, and a pram, and I need to place a bet with Remus so I can win it?"

"Everything except that last part, he'd say you cheated."

"Oh, right. Now, I need to figure out an awesome way to announce we're going to be parents. Maybe something with chocolate, and fireworks, and..." Lily shook her head as Sirius continued to ramble about different ways to announce their pending child. She wondered how mad Sirius would be if she just discreetly let Remus know before Sirius managed to blow something up in his own face.


	14. What Marlene Can Do

**A/N: I don't own Harry Potter**

**Word Count: 321**

"I don't want to talk about it," Sirius stated throwing himself onto the bed. James and Remus exchanged a glance.

"Good. I don't want to hear about it," Peter finally squeaked after a moment. Sirius sat up only to flop back down dramatically.

"Who didn't want to go out with you today?" James asked trying to enchant a piece of pink paper to fold itself into the shape of a lily.

"Marlene."

"And why did she 'no' this time?" Remus asked.

"She thinks I'm gay!"

"Now why would she think that? You ask her or Dorcas out every other week."

"Exactly. Apparently I'm trying too hard to conform to social pressures while denying my own sexuality."

"Those were her exact words, weren't they?"

"Well, they sure as hell aren't mine. I don't even know what half of them mean."

"Do you need me to explain it to you?' Remus asked looking up from his book.

"No, Lily already did."

"You came to Lily before us!"

"She was there when it happened. She's so nice and smells good..."

"And if you ask her out, James will kill you?" Peter asked. Sirius sighed.

"You know, maybe Marlene has a point. Maybe you are asking out every girl in the castle because you're afraid to ask out the person you actually like?" James said after a moment.

"Fine, if that's what everyone thinks," Sirius stated standing up and stalking over to where James and Remus were sitting. They stared at him for a moment as though he'd lost his mind. Finally, he seemed to decide something. He leaned down and kissed Remus passionately on the lips. A few seconds later, he broke the kiss and stared at Remus.

"Dammit! Marlene was right!" he muttered looking back at Remus. "Wanna go out with me, Moony?"

"Yes," Remus answered glad he'd secretly talked to Marlene. That girl really did know how to make things happen.


	15. Bat Attack?

**A/N: I don't own Harry Potter**

**This is for the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry**

**Assignment #8 – Muggle Studies - ******Task #12. Legally Blonde -******Write about someone struggling to be taken seriously**

**Writing Club November**

**Showtime: 5 - Stupid With Love - (character) James Potter**

**Amber's Attic: 5 - (character) Peter Pettigrew**

**Word Count: 339**

"But that's what really happened! I was standing there, minding my own business when I was attacked by a large black bat!" Sirius exclaimed. James and Remus exchanged glances.

"Really? A large black bat? What have you drinking this time?" James asked remembering the time Sirius had managed to smuggle in a foreign whiskey and hallucinated that he was being turned into a robot.

"I'm telling you, it really happened."

"Then how did you get away?" Remus asked. Even he was having trouble believing Sirius' story. As far as he knew, there were no bats, large or regular size, terrorizing Hogwarts.

"I don't know. It was coming at me. I started running. I tripped over something and fell, that's why I'm covered in mud. The bat swooped past me and then it was gone."

"It probably thought you were a large bug or something?" Peter suggested. James and Remus rolled their eyes.

"He doesn't look anything like a bug, Wormy."

"But why else would a bat attack him?" Peter asked looking at his friends. The four of them fell silent for a moment.

"Are you sure it even was a bat and some black umbrella someone lost in the rain?"

"It was a bat! It was huge, nearly as big as my face! And it came right at me! Wait, you think I'm making this all up?"

"I don't," Peter squeaked.

"I swear, that's what really happened. Unless... you don't think Snivilus is a vampire? They can turn into bats, can't they?" Sirius asked suddenly wide eyed. Remus sighed.

"No, they can not turn into bats, and no, Snape's not a vampire. Come on, Sirius, let's go get some cocoa from the kitchen and I can help you rewrite your vampire essay before class."

"But it really happened!" Sirius insisted following Remus. "Just wait until it comes for you!" The other three Marauders exchanged glances and mentally vowed to keep Sirius safe just in case the large bat, which two of them didn't believe existed, actually did return.


	16. Attempted Yule

**A/N: I don't own Harry Potter.**

**This is for the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry**

**Writing Club November**

**Assorted Appreciation: 19 - "Okay, I guess I'm gonna do this. Unless someone talks me out of it."**

**Trope of the Month: 17 - Dialogue: "Let go of my ear, I know what I'm doing."**

**Showtime: 19 - Do This Thing - (trait) Smart**

**Marvel Appreciation: 5 - James Rhodes - Write about standing up to a best friend.**

**Word Count: 353**

"This is it, this is the big one," James announced looking at Remus, Sirius and Peter."

"You said that last time."

"I mean it. Okay, I'm gonna do this. Unless someone talks me out of it?" James stated looking at his friends. Sirius and Remus rolled their eyes.

"Maybe you shouldn't do it? I mean, she's probably already got a date," Peter whispered after a moment. "And she's turned you down every other time."

"Exactly, that's why, I'm not going ask. I'm going to tell her she's my date for the Yule Dance. Then she'll see how assertive I am, and realize she likes me," James replied with a smile.

"I'll realize what, Potter?" a voice asked from the doorway. James turned and slowly the smile slid off his face.

"Lily, um, how long have you been, um, standing there?"

"Long enough to know you're not taking me to the Yule Dance," she responded rolling her green eyes. "I've got patrol, I'll see you three idiots later," she added leaving the common room. James jumped from his chair. Remus reached over and grabbed his earlobe.

"Let go of my ear, I know what I'm doing."

"We all know what you're doing. You're going after her and going to make an even bigger fool of yourself in front of who knows how many people, and then she'll turn you down again." James flopped back into his chair.

"You're right. Why are you always right, Moony?"

"Because I'm not obsessed with asking Lily out? What would you do if, for once, she actually said yes?" Remus asked. James blinked. For some reason, he wasn't exactly what he'd do. He was so used to coming up with these insane schemes to get her attention, to get her to go out with him, that the idea of her suddenly agreeing confused him.

"Maybe you should figure that out first, Prongs? Then ask her again?" Remus suggested.

"Good point. I'm going to go make a list of date ideas that she'll love!" James exclaimed darting off towards the boys' dorm leaving Remus and Sirius shaking their heads.


	17. Happy Birthday James

**A/N: I don't own Harry Potter or any related characters**

**This is for the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry**

**Assignment #9 – Arts and Crafts - ******2\. Edward Burne-Jones:****** Sir Edward Coley Burne-Jones was an English artist and designer associated with the phase of the Pre-Raphaelite movement, known for his rejuvenation of the tradition of stained glass art in Britain. - ******Task #2:****** With a group of friends, Edward formed a society known as "The Brotherhood". ****Write about a brotherly relationship (can be actual brothers, can just be friends).**

**Word Count: 433**

James blinked his eyes open to something heavy and wet sitting on his chest.

"Sirius, why is the giant squid sitting on top of me? And why is it wearing a sage green party hat?"

"Happy birthday, James! Mum said that sage green was your lucky color, so I figured..."

"You're calling my mum 'Mum'?"

"She said too, said she'd adopt me if she could. We'd be brothers! Wouldn't that be a great birthday present?"

"For you, maybe. It's my birthday today, in case you haven't noticed."

"I noticed, bro! That's why I invited the squid. It really likes you!" Sirius stated as the squid tried to wrap a tentacle around James' left ankle.

"Sirius... when have I have ever said I wanted to wake up with a squid on me?"

"Last week, when we were playing truth or dare. Remember, you said truth and I asked you how you felt about the squid, and then you said, that you'd rather wake up with it than Dorcas' stupid cat?"

"This isn't exactly what I meant. How is it even alive? Doesn't it need to be in water?"

"I found a charm! It's like the opposite of the bubble head charm!" Sirius explained. James groaned loudly causing Peter to wake up. He squeaked loudly seeing the squid and dove back under his blankets.

"Can you please put it back in the lake?" James asked after a moment.

"Um, see, that's the problem. Remus helped me get it up here and well, he's helping Lily plan your surprise party... so we're kind of stuck with it up here for now." James glared at Sirius. "I figured you'd be happier."

"My bed is covered in water and squid slime, why would I be happy? Wait, did you say Lily's throwing me a surprise party?"

"Yup! With cake and balloons, and other things."

"She remembered it's my birthday!" James exclaimed managing to wiggle out from under the squid. "She really does care about me!" he yelled jumping around. "That's the best present I've gotten this year!"

"What about me being your brother? Or the squid?"

"Sirius, you're the best brother I've never had, and thank you for the squid, which needs to go home. But Lily... she's finally noticed me!" James happily yelled getting dressed and heading out of the room to see if he could randomly bump into Lily before the party he wasn't supposed to know about. Sirius glanced over at the squid.

"Well, at least I've got you," he muttered. The squid waved a tentacle and pulled Sirius into a very, very, tight hug.


	18. Howling

**A/N: I don't own Harry Potter**

**This is for the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry**

**Assignment #9 – Beauty Therapy - ******Task #7 - Waxing Treatment:******Write about a sharp shock over something.**

**Warning: Sexual language and fade to black**

**Word count: 325**

Remus awoken by someone hitting him with a pillow. He opened his eyes open and looked around. Sirius was sitting on the end of his own bed glaring at him.

"What did I do now?"

"You know what you did!" Sirius stated.

"I have no clue what you're talking about."

"Remus, you're only doing this because you secretly hates me," Sirius yelled. Remus rolled his eyes.

"I blame my two a.m brain," Remus mumbled trying not to yawn.

"Oh, so you only hate me at two a.m.?" Sirius asked staring at his boyfriend. Remus shook his head.

"No, I don't hate you, Sirius! I could never hate you."

"Then why do you keep doing it. You know how much I hate it!" Sirius yelled. James blinked his eyes open.

"Can't this wait until morning?" he asked.  
"No!" they both exclaimed. James sighed and pulled a pillow over his head.

"You can't take it to common room either?" he asked knowing neither of them was paying a bit of attention to him.

"I'm not even doing anything!"

"Yes, you are! You keep howling every time we... and then you do it in your sleep!"

"You're accusing me of doing something in my sleep intentionally because I hate you?"

"Yes!"

"Sirius, you know how crazy that sounds. And if I'm howling in my sleep then did you ever think that maybe it's because I'm dreaming about us?" Remus asked.

"Oh... I never...oh...so that means... You don't hate me."

"Exactly the opposite, Padfoot. Now, are you done accusing me of hating you and howling in my sleep for the sole reason of annoying you?"

"Yes," Sirius answered sliding over to let Remus into his bed. Sirius pulled the curtains closed and soon James could hear howling, even with three pillows and a blanket covering his head.

"And I hate the both of you," he muttered giving up and going to sleep on the sofa in the common room.


	19. Light the Fuse

**A/N: I don't own Harry Potter **

**This is for the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry**

**Angel's Archives: 4 - Curious George by H. A. Rey and Margret Rey - write about a character trying to stop a prank from happening.**

**Word Count: 830**

"I don't care what you think, I think it's a brilliant idea," James stated. Him and Lily were standing outside the portrait of the fat lady. James had just told Lily about how Remus had managed to get some Muggle fireworks and they were going light them and give her a light show. This was James' latest plan for getting Lily's attention to finally focus on him and not on the fact everyone in school thought he was in love with the giant squid.

"If by brilliant, you mean idiotic, then yes, yes it is," Lily retorted rolling her eyes. "Besides you don't even know how to work Muggle fireworks. I doubt Remus has done anything with them either. You're more likely to light something else on fire, or blow yourselves up, than to actually accomplish anything."

"You just light the string part and they go off. Besides, if you'd just go out with me, I wouldn't have to take such drastic measures."

"They're dangerous. Muggles lose fingers to them by doing stupid stuff just like this! And I still wouldn't go out with you if you were the last bloke on Earth."

"You just don't understand it, that's all. Watch, it will be amazing," James promised darting off to join Sirius and Remus. Remus was holding a large cardboard box. Lily watched the three run off wondering if Peter had realized this was a bad idea too and that's why he wasn't involved. Maybe he had more brains than Lily realized. She would have to see if that was truly the case or if he just had detention somewhere else in the castle.

"If by amazing, you mean, you'll end up lighting the whole castle on fire somehow," she muttered shaking her head and making a vow to practice her water summoning spell. Maybe she might be able to prevent them from actually destroying something?

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

"Are you sure these will even work, Remus? I mean, I just don't see anything magical about them."

"They're Muggle fireworks, Prongs. They're not supposed to be magical," Remus explained. James picked up one and studied it.

"You really think Lily will like this?"

"Yes, she'll love it, as long as you listen and do as I say, and don't try to improvise somehow."

"But where's the fun in that?" Sirius asked pulling out a lighter and flickering it on. Remus reached to grab it. Sirius pulled it back, fumbled it, and it managed to fall into the box of fireworks Remus had purchased. The fireworks started sparking.

"Run!" Remus yelled grabbing James and Sirius. They fled the room just as the fireworks started exploding, sending colorful balls of fire and sparks into the air.

Lily had just started walking towards the classroom to grab her book she'd forgotten when she heard the explosions.

"Only them," she muttered running in that direction, her wand drawn. She was joined by Professors Flitwick and McGonagall as she reached the charms classroom, which was now on fire. The three of them extinguished the flames quickly enough.

"Miss Evans, do you know what happened?" Professor McGonagall asked. Lily shook her head.

"No, I don't. I had forgotten my book in the classroom and was coming to retrieve it when I heard the explosion," she answered looking at Professor Flitwick. It was slightly easier to lie to him than Professor McGonagall. Not that it was a complete lie. She honestly didn't know why the charms classroom was on fire. She only knew the boys had a box of Muggle fireworks, Sirius had a lighter he liked to play with, and James was an idiot. None of that was concrete evidence they had actually done anything this time.

"Very well, then, I'm afraid it looks as though your book has been destroyed," he added pointing to a charred rectangle. Lily sighed knowing she'd have to make Sirius or James buy her a new one.

"I'll manage, sir. I'd better be getting back to the tower," she said quickly excusing herself to find the boys and make sure they hadn't managed to set themselves on fire too. Professor McGonagall shook her head watching Lily run off. She figured she'd let her find the boys, she knew it had to have been them, yell at them for a bit before serving the three of them detention for burning the charms classroom. Peter, if she remembered correctly, was currently serving detention with Filch for something involving the giant squid and a lot of strawberries.

"One day without those four causing trouble... is that too much to ask?" she asked herself as she headed back to her office. "Just one day?"

"Not if its the Marauders," one of the portraits yelled causing her to just shake her head again and decide to make them serve detention with her verses Filch, and to hide the biscuits she usually kept on her desk before Mr. Potter could, once again, steal the whole platter.


	20. Dreams

**A/N: I don't own Harry Potter**

**This is for the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry**

**Assignment #2 Careers Advice - ******Task #3:******Write about judging something/someone.**

**Writing Club January**

**Disney Challenge: "My dream wouldn't be complete... without you in it. I love you, [Name]."**

**Word Count: 630**

"Everyone please open your dream journals," Professor Adler stated. James pulled out the tattered notebook he'd been using. "Partner up and analyze each others dreams."

Lily looked to Marlene, but she'd already partnered with Dorcas. Within seconds, Lily realized the only person in the room without a partner was, unsurprisingly, James Potter.

"Looks like we're partners, right Lily?"

"Fine, but nothing stupid, promise, Potter?" she asked, wondering how this could have happened. She had a feeling James had arranged this whole thing. It would not surprise her in the least.

"Should I go first?" James asked. He held up the battered journal. Lily wrinkled her nose.

"That thing looks like it's been in the lake, smells like it too," she commented.

"Yeah, the squid got a hold of it at one point, so I can go first?"

"Sure, why not. Go ahead," Lily muttered, wondering what James had used to bribe their classmates.

"I dreamed that I was flying in my underwear, and then I woke up, but I didn't really wake up, I only dreamed I woke up. Then I was fighting a giant troll," James said. Lily was jotting down notes trying to figure out if the dream meant anything. She doubted it. This whole dream interpretation thing was nothing but nonsense in her book. Dreams didn't mean anything, they were just fantasy and nonsense. At least the ones she'd written down were. There was no need to write about the dream she'd had about James naked in the Great Hall. No, she would be keeping that one to herself, thank you very much.

"And how how did it end?" she asked.

"It didn't, it wasn't a complete dream. My dream wouldn't be complete...without you in it. I love you, Lily! And you weren't in my dream at all."

"This is stupid. I don't love you, James. I don't even like you. I swear, you arranged for us to be partners so you could tell me this cockamamie dream, and then say you love me. I'm done, you can analyze your own dreams, Potter."

"Come on, Lily, I promise, no more confessions of undying love. I really do need to pass this class, besides, Professor Adler is watching us."

"Fine, but only because I want to pass too. Let's see," she said, grabbing the book about interpreting dreams. "The troll could represent a bully or something you feel is larger than yourself, a problem you can't solve alone."

"Like you never going out with me?" James asked. Lily glared at him. Of course, he'd turn anything she said into an excuse to ask her out. It was getting on her nerves. She was even dreaming of him pestering her... of course, the waking James would never randomly lose his clothing.

"No, like the fact you're probably failing your classes since you spend all of class time pestering me," Lily replied. "Flying could mean a lot of things, but in your case, it probably means you're spending way too much time playing Quidditch."

"No such thing! Fine, let's hear one of yours," James stated. Lily rolled her eyes.

"I dreamed that I stabbed you through the heart."

"It means you love me, see."

"How does stabbing mean love?" Lily asked. This whole thing was just stupid.

"It was through the heart!"

"And class is thankfully over," Lily announced, standing up and grabbing her bag. She shoved her dream journal in it and shook her head.

"Gryffindor is playing against Slytherin tomorrow, wanna come to the game and watch me play?" James asked.

"No, I've got to wash my hair," Lily replied, slipping into the hall wondering why the bloody hell she'd even dreamed about James in the first place. It wasn't like she actually liked him, or anything!


	21. Confessions (Muggle AU)

**A/N: I don't own Harry Potter**

**This is for the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry**

**Assignment #2 – Brewing - ******Task #4 - Pot Still:****** A pot still is a type of distillation apparatus or still used to distill alcoholic spirits such as whisky or cognac. Pot stills operate on a batch distillation basis. Traditionally constructed from copper, pot stills are made in a range of shapes and sizes depending on the quantity and style of spirit desired. - Write about getting drunk.**

**Writing Club January**

**Assorted Appreciation: 2 - Charity Pot - Write about someone doing something charitable**

**Word Count: 713**

"Another," James stated, nodding to the barkeep. She shook her head, but poured him another beer.

"I should cut you off, you know."

"But you won't."

"Nah, I know a heartbreak when I see one, although, drinking yourself into a stupor probably isn't going help much."

"It's not a break up, he doesn't even know I love him," James slurred.

"Maybe you should tell him?"

"He's getting married, it's too late for me," James muttered, downing the beer, half of it missing his mouth. The barkeep rolled her slate colored eyes.

"You're cut off, by the way," she stated. "And are you really going to keep this secret to yourself, drink yourself to an early grave 'cause you're too afraid to take that step, to tell him the truth. I've heard secrets can eat you up inside. You should tell him."

James stood, wobbled a bit.

"You're right! I need to tell Padfoot I love him before he marries Marlene!"

"You should probably wait until you sober up a little bit, buddy. Here, let me call someone for you."

"No, I'll be fine," James grumbled, taking a few steps before grabbing the bar.

"That's it, I'm calling someone for you. Give me the number."

"I don't have... You can't call Sirius!" James argued, before nearly passing out. The barkeep shook her head. It was late, James was the last one in the bar. She slid him a glass of water.

"Here, drink," she ordered. He obeyed. James then put his head down on the bar, passing out.

"Figures," she muttered. She walked around to him and pulled his phone out of his pocket. "Let's see, who's his in case of emergency? Ahh, here it is."

"Hello, yeah, this is Tonks at the Metamorpha Bar on Pike. You're listed as one of my customer's call in case of emergency? Yeah, he's alright, just passed out. Could you come pick up him up, he's apparently having a rough night. I'd hate to add to it by having him thrown in the police's drunk tank. Thanks, yeah, I'll stay with him." Tonks hung up the phone and looked at the man sleeping against her bar. She had to admit she felt a bit sorry for him. Apparently whoever this Padfoot was, he had broken his heart. She started cleaning, leaving a cup of water for James. It had been about ten minutes when she heard a car pull up.

"Hello?" a voice called. Tonks put down the rag and walked over to the door. The man standing there looked worried. She opened the door.

"You here for him?" she asked, noticing the scars across the man's face.

"Yes, I'm here for James. How's he doing?"

"Sleeping it off. Before he passed out, he was saying something about Padfoot?"

"He's a friend of ours. Here, can you help me get him to the car, please?"

"Sure," she said. They each took an arm and helped James to Remus' car. "Thank you for coming."

"It's what friends do, so what do I owe you? I doubt James paid before passing out."

"He didn't. Um, let's see, here's his tab," she said, handing Remus a receipt. He glanced it, sighed, and pulled a wad of cash from his pocket.

"Here you go, and again, thank you for calling me instead of the cops."

"Like I said, he's been having a rough night. I'll see you..."

"Remus, Remus Lupin," he said. She smiled, waved bye to Remus, and walked back into the bar. Remus shook his head and looked at James, who was sleeping in the backseat.

"Really, James? Now you're confessing how you feel about Sirius? Well, you can tell him in the morning. Him and Marlene broke up, again."

James moaned.

"Exactly, wedding's off. You'll tell him in the morning, while hung over and if you're going to come drinking here again, I'm coming with you," Remus added, thinking about Tonks' smile. James snuggled against the seat. Remus sighed wondering how Sirius would take the news that James really did love him, enough to get black out drunk. He laughed, only his friends could be this insane, and only James could pull him into this mess and lead him to the most beautiful girl in the world.


	22. Are You Sirius? (LilyJamesSirius)

**A/N: I don't own Harry Potter**

**This is for the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry**

**Assignment #2 – Astronomy – ******Task #4 - Galaxies:******Write about two or more people who are inseparable**

**Writing Club January**

**Fabulous World of Comics: 28 - (Trope) Friends to Lovers**

**Warning: sexual themes and nudity**

**Word Count: 669**

"And then somehow, Sirius was standing there in nothing more than his pants," James started to say. Lily rolled her eyes.

"I don't necessarily need to hear about that!" she yelled, trying not to think about Sirius being almost nude.

"But I'm almost to the good part," James argued.

"Does it explain why he's walking about speaking only in rhyme?" she asked.

"Well, yes, in a way, see Marlene walked in on us and well, she got a little bit jealous..." James started to explain.

"Really? She was jealous that her boyfriend was snogging you?"

"We weren't snogging, well, we were, but she didn't see that part."

"James, what you and Sirius do is something I really, really don't want to think about."

"Oh, right, you had a crush on him, didn't you, Lils?"

"No, I had a crush on you, you moron," she grumbled. James stared at her for a moment.

"Wait, what?"

"I'm not repeating myself, Potter. Besides, I'm pretty sure you heard me just fine. Why are all the good guys taken... or gay?" she asked, flopping down on the sofa. James flopped down next to her and put an arm around her shoulder.

"Who says I'm gay?"

"You were snogging Sirius."

"Yeah? So? Doesn't mean I don't like girls too," James said, shrugging. "I don't really care about that sort of thing. I wasn't snogging Sirius because he's a guy, I was snogging Sirius because he's really good at snogging."

"Oh," Lily whispered, feeling her face flush. "I just thought...I'm sorry, you'd think by now I'd know better than to make assumptions," she muttered. James laughed.

"Don't be, sorry that is. And now what were you saying about wanting to snog me?"

"I said I had a crush, I said nothing about snogging," Lily argued.

"Fine, no snogging. How about one kiss, just one, get the whole crush out of your system?" James asked, watching Lily. He watched how she tilted her head when she was thinking, how her hair fell over her ear, hiding the golden earring piercing her lobe. He couldn't help but notice it was in the shape of a heart.

"Fine, one kiss," she finally answered. "Get you out of my system once and for all. Then I really won't care what you and Sirius get up to."

James nodded and pulled Lily to him gently, his lips brushing hers. She deepened the kiss, wrapping her arms around him. Her tongue pushed against his teeth as he widened the kiss.

"Really? I leave you alone for two minutes and you're snogging the first person you found?" a voice shouted. Lily and James broke apart, both quickly looking at the floor. Sirius strolled over to them.

"Sirius, I can explain..." James started to say. Lily looked over at Sirius. She did a double take.

"Where the bloody hell are your pants?!" she exclaimed. James laughed, having realized that Sirius was wearing nothing more than dressing gown, and it was hanging wide open revealing his entire self.

"Dunno, I was going to have James' pants join them, but now..."

"I was just trying to get over my crush, that's all. It's not like we were... you know, doing anything," Lily stated. Sirius raised an eyebrow. Lily looked at the floor, biting her lip.

"Do you want to be doing something?" Sirius asked, looking at James. "'Cause Prongs and I, we're not objecting to a threesome, if you'd be interested in that sort of thing," he said. Lily felt her face flush even brighter. James laughed as she tilted her head, her usual thinking pose.

"Sirius, give her a break. Lily, Sirius and I will be in my bed, if you wish to join, if not, that's fine. We'll see you at dinner," James stated, grabbing Sirius' hand and leading him out of the room and into the boys' dorm. Lily waited a minute, her eyes glancing in the direction they had gone. Finally, she sighed, got to her feet and followed them.


	23. The Longest Jumper

**A/N: I don't own Harry Potter**

**This is for the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry**

**Assignment #3 Culinary Arts ******  
Task #1 - Spaghetti:****** Write about someone/something getting tangled **

**Writing Club February**

**Amber's Attic: 24 - Painted Doll, Devil's Carnival: (restriction) no dialogue ******(bonus)****

****Lizzy's Loft: 20 - And for a moment I don't even care****

****Lyric Alley: 10- Who you thinking of****

****Word count: 875 ****

James stared at the pile of yarn at his feet. It was now May and he'd started on this in October. Remus had assured him it would get easier as he went. Practice helped. So far, James had had to unravel the jumper three times. The first time, he'd skipped a whole row somehow. The second, the yarn had spelled out an inappropriate word. James was nearly certain Sirius had something to do with that. Remus wouldn't have sabotaged his project like that.

The last time had been a complete accident. He'd been knitting outside and the giant squid had grabbed the partially finished jumper and pulled it into the lake. He'd had to unravel all the parts that smelled like fish. He didn't think Lily would want to smell like fish. Later, telling Remus about it, Lily had just laughed and shook her head. Now, it was May and James was nowhere near finished with the jumper he'd planned to give Lily for her birthday. Maybe it would be finished in time for next Christmas?

James boarded the train. The summer holidays had come and gone. Now it was sixth year. It was September first. He held the bag of yarn as he slid into his seat next to Sirius and Remus. Sirius eyed the bag, as if unable to believe James was still working the same jumper. Remus just shook his head. He, at least, seemed to understand just how hard James was trying to get it finished.

James watched Lily unwrap the necklace he'd bought her. The jumper still remained unfinished, but it wasn't really his fault. Peter and Sirius had been playing keep away and it had come mostly unraveled. At this point, Sirius had suggested he just buy one. She'd never know the different, just make sure it's horribly made! That had lead to a very large pillow fight. During which, the jumper, well half a jumper, had been lost. James had found it three weeks later under a chair. Thankfully, it had suffered no more damage.

James smiled. Yes, it was the summer holidays again. No, the jumper wasn't finished. However, he'd gotten both sleeves done finally! All he had left was the main body of it and he could finish that during the holidays. It should be done in time to give Lily for Christmas – two years late.

James stared at the pile of yarn. His beautiful, almost finished jumper! It was ruined! How could this have happened! He'd been so careful. He'd gotten it almost done during the summer holidays, only have the collar to finish. He'd wanted to enchant some silver yarn to sparkle, so he'd had to wait until school started again so he could use magic. He'd carefully hidden the sweater in his underpants drawer. It should have been safe there! He had a feeling Sirius was involved somehow!

Lily exclaimed in joy at the quill set James got her for Christmas. She'd hugged him and finally kissed him. That one kiss was worth waiting the seven years. They talked about plans for the future that night, under the stars. James still wanted her to have that jumper. Even though he'd started on it nearly three years ago, he was determined to finish it.

Graduation day started with fireworks. Most of them set off by the Marauders. James felt as though nothing could go wrong. He'd finally gotten the charm on the jumper right. The silver sparkles on the collar were perfect. He'd give it to Lily tonight! She might be more excited about the ring in his pocket though.

James was panicking. He couldn't find Lily's jumper. It wasn't in his trunk. It wasn't in Sirius' trunk. He sighed. He'd finally finished it and now it was gone. Too late to worry about that. Lily was waiting for him. He'd just have to look for it later.

It was a small ceremony. There was a war on and it was best not to draw too much attention. Amid wedding planning and the war, the lost jumper still hadn't been found. Sirius kept claiming he was innocent. James only half believed him. It didn't matter, not really. Lily was his.

James stared at the mess on the sofa. Lily had apparently decided to wash everything in the flat. Something green handing in the corner caught his eye. The jumper! Lily had found it somehow! He ran to the kitchen where she was making dinner. He'd asked where she'd found it. Apparently it had been wrapped in his invisibility cloak.

James grabbed it and handed it to her. It had taken him much longer than he'd planned to gift it to her, but here it was. She smiled, laughed softly, and held it up. It had shrank in the washing somehow. There was no way it could fit Lily. James was crestfallen. All that work, all those years... But, Lily only smiled, and held it up to her abdomen. It could fit the baby, she suggested, telling James the secret she'd only just discovered.

Harry pulled at the green yarn, at the silver sparkles on the collar. James had to admit, it was lucky Harry had Lily's amazing eyes. They matched the jumper perfectly.


	24. A Crack in the Wall

**A/N: I don't own Harry Potter or any related characters**

**This is for Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry**

**Assignment #3 Culinary Arts - ******Task #9 - Penne:******Write about a secret passage/door**

**Writing Club February**

**Trope of the Month: 7- Word: Darkness**

**Elizabeth's Empire - 8. (emotion) curious**

**Lizzy's Loft: 14 - Refuse to sit down and be tamed**

**Film Festival: 9 (action) dancing**

**Lyric Alley: 3 - That's ancient history, been there, done that**

**Word Count: 405**

James paused, looking around. He knew there had to be a passage around here somewhere. He'd seen one of the prefects walk this direction and then disappear. Wand drawn, he started randomly tapping things.

"Alohamora," he whispered as he went. He wasn't sure what he was expecting. Suddenly he heard a grinding sound. The wall to his left had shifted slightly leaving a crack just big enough for a person to walk through.

"Found you!" James yelled, dancing around in the empty hallway. He walked over to the crack, stuck his head into it and frowned. It was dark. He lit the tip of his wand and stepped through the crack. At first, he could feel the walls on either side of him. It was narrow passage. James smiled. This had to lead to somewhere awesome, didn't all secret passages lead to cool places?

He could feel the emptiness in the darkness around him. The small light on his wand barely lit the large chamber.

"Lumos maxima," he said. The light increased revealing the fact the walls were lined with shelves. He walked over to the nearest one. It was full of books.

"Really? I found a secret library?" he asked, not even bothering to hide the disappointment in his voice. Out of all the cool things him and his friends had already found, a library had to be the worst. He pulled out a few of the books, looked at the covers. Nothing of real interest. Most appeared to be old school books. He continued around the room, hoping he might find something among the shelves of books.

"Books, books, more books, ohh, this looks interesting!" James exclaimed, grabbing a box from one of the top shelves. The box was made of a reddish wood and had a pattern engraved on the top. There were runes carved into the sides. James had no clue what the runes said.

He'd spent most of his ancient runes class trying to convince Lily that the runes said they belonged together. She didn't believe him. He tucked the box under his arm and slipped out of the hidden library. He'd ask Remus what the runes said. Then, maybe if the box was cool enough, he'd see if giving it to Lily, or showing her the secret library would get her to go out with him. Lily seemed like the kind of girl who would like a secret library!


	25. Coffee and Tea

**A/N: I don't own Harry Potter**

**This is for the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry**

**Writing Club February**

**Lyric Alley: 11- No chance no way I won't say it, no no**

**Film Festival: 14 - (genre) friendship**

**Word Count: 459**

**Warning: some slight innuendo**

"I like my coffee like I like my men," Lily started. Sirius shook his head. Lily, Marlene, and Dorcas had been playing this stupid game all week. He personally did not like coffee. He also did not much care for men in that way.

"Tall, dark and handsome," Lily finished, glancing at James. James was currently doing homework with Remus. Neither wizard was paying attention to the witches.

"I like my witches like I like my tea, hot!" Sirius announced. Marlene and Dorcas rolled their eyes.

"Really? Did it sound like we had invited you to play?" Dorcas asked. Marlene giggled and flashed Sirius a smile.

"I'm hot," she replied. Lily sighed. Things always went sideways where Sirius was concerned.

"That you are," Sirius replied. "But I've got my eyes on someone else," he replied, giving Lily a wink. She glared at him. Marlene shrugged and turned her attention back to Dorcas.

"Tea huh?" Lily asked, walking over to Sirius. "I took you for a coffee drinker," she added. Sirius laughed.

"I hate coffee."

"I hate tea, if we're being honest. I love the bitterness of coffee, the heat pouring down my throat. Besides, add ice and flavored cream to coffee and it's completely normal. Add anything to tea and you get a whole lecture about how you're doing it wrong and it's not tea and you're a complete disgrace to the Crown."

"Tea isn't a frilly drink," Sirius replied. Lily rolled her eyes.

"Adding some flavor to something doesn't make it frilly. Besides, I've seen the amount of sugar you add to the thing you call 'tea'. Pretty sure it's just liquid sugar at that point."

"Nope, still tea," Sirius replied with a grin. "Hey, James, can I take your witch out for tea? Show her that it's good and she should drink it over that nasty bean juice?" Sirius yelled. James looked from his homework

"Sure, just have her home by three. She'd going to help me with my charms homework, right Lily?"

"Um, no. I'm not doing your homework for you. Also, seriously! I'm not James' witch!"

"Do you want to be?" James asked, giving Lily a huge smile. She glared at him.

"No! And fine, I'll have tea with you, if, and only if, you have a coffee with me," Lily stated, looking pointedly at Sirius.

"Perfect. Let's go, the house elves make the perfect cuppa," Sirius said, grabbing Lily's hand and leading her from the common room. James shook his head. Lily would never admit to liking tea and Sirius would never admit to liking coffee. He knew he'd hear this same argument next month, and the next, and the next, until one of them either conceded or managed to poison the other.


	26. Cards

**A/N: I don't own Harry Potter**

**This is for the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry**

**Writing Club March**

**Fabulous World of Comics: 8 -(restriction) only male characters**

**Elizabeth's Empire: 7 - The **__**Harry Potter**__** series by J.K. Rowling (how could I not?): Write about something too good to be true. Alt: (character) Remus Lupin**

**Liza's Loves: 1 - Moon Shimmer - Write about Remus Lupin**

**Marvel Appreciation: 7 - [Characteristic] Charming**

**Sophie's Shelf: 11 - Geralt of Rivia, The Witcher: (creature) Wolf**

**Word Count: 307**

"I'm not worthy," Sirius announced, walking into the common room. Remus looked up at him.

"Worthy of what?" he asked, already wondering if he was going to regret asking.

"The adoration of my adoring public, of course," Sirius answered, tossing a bag of pink and red paper onto the table.

"Valentines?" Remus asked.

"I've gotten fifty so far!" Sirius answered. "James only has twelve, and none of them are from Lily."

"She'll send up sending him one before the night is over," Remus muttered. "So, have you read them all?"

"A few. This one is from Marlene. And this one is from Dorcas," Sirius said as he started pulling Valentines out of the bag. Remus watched him carefully.

"And this one is from, hey! Lily sent me one," Sirius laughed. "Ohh, James is going to be jealous!"

"What about that one?" Remus asked, pointing to a card that had fallen from the bag and onto the floor. Sirius picked up the card. Compared to the others, it was pretty plain. It didn't have glitter or red and pinks hearts on it. Instead, it had a picture of a full moon and a cut out of a wolf silhouette. Sirius looked at it and turned to Remus.

"You sent me a card?" he asked in disbelief.

"I did, I figured you might like one that's not from some witch trying to win your heart," Remus said softly. Sirius pulled Remus from his seat, wrapped him a tight hug, and kissed him passionately on the lips.

"I am not worthy of having such an amazing man in my life," he stated. Remus laughed.

"I think you are," he stated. "Now, want to go show James the card from Lily?"

"Absolutely. I'll be right back!" Sirius called, darting out of the common room, Remus' card still in his hand.


	27. Rubber Ducky Dreams

**A/N: I don't own Harry Potter or any related characters**

**This is for the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry**

**Writing Club March**

**Amber's Attic: 17 - ****(genre) friendship ******(bonus)****

****Marvel Appreciation: 19 - [Character] Sam Wilson: Write about frenemies.****

****Character Appreciation: 29 - ********Spell/Ability: Accio (as Janet has the ability to summon anything)****

****Word Count: 364****

"I had a dream that started like this. I was swimming naked in a lake surrounded by a million rubber duckies," James stated.

"Why do all your dreams involve you naked?" Sirius asked, tilting his head.

"Because, then Lily showed up," James continued. Sirius rolled his eyes. "What?" James asked.

"Your dreams are always you naked, and then Lily shows up, and finally she makes sweet love to you while something creepy is in the background."

"Not all of them!" James tried to argue. Sirius tilted his head again, his dark curls falling over his face.

"Not all of what?" Remus asked, poking his head out of the loo and into the room.

"Not all of James dreams involve him naked," Sirius answered.

"There's some he's not telling us about then?" Remus asked. James glared at him.

"The latest one involved rubber duckies and Lily," Sirius added. James threw a pillow at him. Remus shook his head and laughed.

"Why do I even talk to you two?" James asked.

"Because last time you tried to tell Lily your dream, she told you to sod off, then threw some hex at your head?" Sirius suggested. "Or, you can't resist my awesomeness?"

"I doubt that," James muttered. "I'm going to go study downstairs, maybe Lily will need help with her charms homework?"

"Or she'll hex you into next week," Remus muttered. James ignored him, grabbed his charms book and headed downstairs. Sirius smirked.

"I've got an idea!" he announced. Remus sighed.

"Do I even want to know?" he asked.

"Accio rubber ducky!" Sirius yelled, running down the stairs. As he hit the bottom stair, several rubber duckies flew into the room.

"Sirius!" James yelled, picking up one of the ducks and throwing at Sirius. Lily stared at both of them as if they'd lost their minds.

"I don't want to know. I don't want to know," she repeated several times before standing up and leaving the room. James stared at where she had been standing, a rubber duck in his hand.

"Sirius! She was going to say 'yes' this time!" he yelled, throwing the duck at Sirius' head and chasing him out of the common room.


	28. Happy Birthday Remus

**A/N: I don't own Harry Potter or any related characters**

**Word Count: 543**

"She has a right to change her mind, Remus," Sirius stated.

"But did she have to do it today? Doesn't she know what today is?" Remus asked, throwing a pair of holey socks into his trunk.

"Wednesday?" Sirius asked, grinning. Remus looked up at him and glared.

"Really? Even you Padfoot?"

"Nah! I know what day it is, Moony. It's the Ides of March," he added, howling with laughter. Remus threw a pillow at him.

"You really think I'd forget your birthday?" Sirius asked, pulling a small parcel out of his back pocket.

"What's that?" Remus asked, eyeing the parcel warily. It was wrapped in brown paper, tied with a green ribbon Remus was certain Sirius had stolen from Nathatia Nott's hair, and was quite lumpy.

"It's a birthday present, obviously," Sirius stated, handing to Remus. "Open it! I promise, it's not going to explode... this time," Sirius added. Remus shook his head remembering the time they had rigged a package to explode when Severus had opened it. The Slytherin boy had been dyed pink for about a week. He realized the memory didn't make as happy as he had been when they'd done it.

"I don't think pink is my color," Remus stated. "I'm not in the mood, Sirius... Why did Dorcas have to dump me today?"

"Maybe because you don't love her? Maybe she didn't want to buy you a gift? Maybe she was tired of her bed smelling like wet dog?" Sirius suggested.

"What do you mean I don't love her?"

"It's obvious. You never kiss her unless some one is watching. You don't hold hands in the Great Hall. You haven't sent her a million bouquets of flowers. You don't smile when someone says her name..." Sirius rattled off, counting on his fingers. He blinked when he was down to only one finger on his right hand. "She wasn't right for you anyway, Moony."

"I just... I just don't want to be alone. I'm already different."

"I like the fact you're different," Sirius stated, flopping down on Remus' bed. Remus sat down next to him. "Open your present, you'll love it. I promise."

"You promise it's not some prank?" Remus asked.

"Do I look like Prongs to you?" Sirius asked, giving Remus a sideways smile. Remus sighed and slowly started untying the green ribbon. Sirius watched him eagerly. Remus pulled the paper apart to reveal a brand new red and gold striped tie and a silvery tie clip. Remus picked up the clip and looked at it. It was shaped like a wolf. He smiled, a laugh escaping his lips.

"Really, Padfoot? A wolf tie clip?" he asked. Sirius smiled.

"Really! I saw and thought of you instantly, and you needed a new tie," he added. Remus picked up the Gryffindor tie and started to tie it.

"Let me," Sirius offered. Remus nodded, leaning forward. Sirius tied it, then used the tie to pull Remus closer to him. Remus blinked as his lips and Sirius' found each other. A few minutes later, the pair finally broke the kiss. Remus stared at Sirius. Sirius stared back, smiling.

"Happy birthday, Remus," he whispered. "Like your present?"

"I liked the part after I opened it more," Remus admitted, giving Sirius another kiss.


	29. Merry Christmas Lily

**A/N: I don't own Harry Potter**

**This is for the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry**

**Writing Club April**

**Bingo: [1.C - Character: A Marauder] [1.D - AU: Apocalypse/Dystopian] **

**Showtime: 13-Damned For All Time: (character) Peter Pettigrew**

**Amber's Attic: 17- "And is this what you call tact? You're as subtle as a brick in the small of my back."- "Seventy Times Seven" by Brand New ******(bonus)****

****Scamander's Case: 10- (characters) Marauders (all four)****

****Lyric Alley: 13- This is the way I would have done things****

****Warning: nudity, sexual references****

"Why is James tied up in ribbon, half naked under the Christmas tree?" Lily asked, staring at the sight before her. Someone had apparently stripped James Potter down to his pants, wrapped him in gold and red ribbons, put a piece of spellotape across his mouth, and then put a bow on his head. She highly doubted he'd managed to do this to himself, although, now that she thought about it, it did scream James.

"Because you asked for him for Christmas?" Sirius suggested, flipping through the catalog he was holding. Lily tilted her head and glared at him.

"I most certainly did not," she said, walking over to James. He looked at her and made some noises that could either be asking her to untie him, or throw him into the lake. She wasn't entirely sure which. The lake idea sounded better at the moment. Maybe the giant squid would take pity on him and untie him?

"Remus?"

"There is no amount in chocolate in the world that would get me to strip James. Sirius however..."

James made some more noises glaring at Remus. Lily fought the urge to laugh.

"Fine, fine," she said, ripping the tape from James' mouth. She made sure to do it hard so it hurt as she yanked it.

"Ow! And just because you didn't do it, doesn't mean you didn't help!" James yelled. "I don't know who did this! I was asleep!"

"Well, since we only know a handful people who would think this was a good idea, you being one of them, why don't I just blame the four of you and go get breakfast. I'm sure your friends will untie you," Lily suggested taking a few steps towards the portrait hole.

"Lily, please! I really didn't have anything to do with this! My plan was to show up at the foot of your bed wearing nothing but a red bow!" James yelled. Sirius snickered while Remus blushed brightly. Lily rolled her eyes knowing exactly who Remus was picturing wearing nothing but a bow. She had to admit the image of Sirius dressed like that did make her smile, not that she'd ever, ever, ever admit she found Sirius attractive.

"That's even worse," she stated, starting to head out.

"Lily! Did you get my present?" Peter asked, poking his head through the opening. Lily stared at him.

"Your present?" Lily asked in disbelief. "You stripped James, tied him up, put tape of his mouth, and left him under the tree for me?" she asked.

"I thought, you know, that you might... well, bye," Peter squeaked before scampering towards the boys' dorm. Lily blinked a few times.

"Really? I guess I owe you and Sirius an apology," Lily said, turning to James.

"See, I told you I didn't do it," Sirius stated. "Now, I wonder if Peter has any that ribbon left. I can think a few things I might want to wrap," he added, grabbing Remus' hand and pulling him from the room. Lily shook her head.

"Fine, I'll untie you, James, but only because no one else will," she said, waving her wand and causing all the ribbons, and James' pants to fall to the floor. James quickly grabbed the bow from his head and placed it on his lowers. Lily laughed.

"Merry Christmas, James," she said, shaking her before leaving the naked James standing in the middle of the common room.

"Merry Christmas, Lily," he muttered, wondering if she had done that deliberately, or if she'd just messed up the spell.

"Nah, she'd never mess up a spell. She's totally into me," he stated, smiling happily as he went to see if he could find his clothes.


	30. Follow Her

**A/N:I don't own Harry Potter**

**This is for the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry**

**Assignment #8 Criminology - ******Task #4 - Acting Negligently:******Write about someone who doesn't notice or realize something important.**

**Writing Club April**

**Character Appreciation: Dialogue: "If you were waiting for the opportune moment, that was it."**

**Showtime: 16- The Arrest: (word) victim**

**Lyric Alley: 20 - You're fading now, you crossed the line**

**Warning: Bullying, derogatory language.**

**Word Count: 626**

"I don't need any help from you," Severus snarled, glaring at Lily. She looked up at him. He was hanging from a low beam. She put her hands on her lips.

"Really? Because you sure are acting like you do. I mean, you're the one in the air with his pants on display for everyone to see. Now, hold still and I'll get you down."

Lily pulled out her wand.

"I said I don't want your help, you little Mudblood!" Severus hissed. A couple Slytherin students passing by laughed. Lily felt her face redden.

The word hung in the air, Lily glaring at the boy she had once been friends with.

"Fine, if that's what you want... you can hang there until your little Death Eater friends come and let you down. We're done, Severus. Whatever you thought we were is done, over, finished. I never want to speak to you again," Lily yelled, storming off leaving Severus hanging there.

LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

Sirius ran into the common room laughing. He looked around before spotting James sitting in the window.

"James! You'll never believe what Snivilius just called Lily! He called her the M word!"

James stared at him in disbelief. Snivilius had done what?!

"What?" James yelled. "I'll punch him! Wait, where's Lily? And why did he call her that?" he asked, wondering what Sirius had done now. He had a feeling Sirius must have done something. And it had probably been awesome.

"Maybe because he was hanging upside down with his pants showing and she offered to help him just as Crouch Jr and my dumb brother walked past? You know, he's my favorite target? He is such a good victim!" Sirius said, shrugging. "Either way, she was furious! Her face got nearly as red as her hair! You should have been there. Wait, why weren't you there?"

"Detention," James answered. "I'd better go see if I can find Lily. Make sure she's alright. Maybe punch Snivilius in the face for good measure?"

"Good luck. She seemed really mad, she'll probably hex you," Sirius commented, before heading up to the boys' dorm looking for Remus.

LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

James searched most of the castle looking for Lily. When he didn't find her, he finally returned to the common room. Remus was sitting there reading. His shirt was slightly unbuttoned and his hair was siting out a little. Apparently Sirius had found Remus after all. James flopped into the chair next to him.

"Seen Lily?" he asked.

Remus looked up from his book. Sirius had mentioned James was looking for Lily, but then again, when wasn't he?

"I think she might be in the girls' dorm. I heard her and Marlene yelling a bit ago. Something about Snape?"

"Yeah, Sirius kind of hexed him and then Snivilius called Lily the M word and I'm trying to comfort her, but I couldn't find her," James explained. Remus nodded as they heard a set of footsteps coming down the girls' stairs.

Lily took the last step before entering the common room. Her eyes were red from crying. Her hair was mused. James watched as Lily paused, looked back at him, and then disappeared out the portrait hole. Remus looked at James and then smacked him with a scarlet colored throw pillow.

"What was that for?" James asked, rubbing his neck. Remus sighed. For someone who claimed to be so smart, sometimes James could be very dense.

"If you were waiting for the opportune moment, that was it, you idiot," he stated. James stared at the spot Lily had vacated.

"Should I go after her?" he asked.

"What do you think?" Remus asked. James nodded, jumped to his feet and quickly raced out the portrait hole in hopes of catching Lily.


	31. Asking You Out

**A/N: I don't own Harry Potter**

**This is for the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry**

**Word Count: 618**

"I've been chasing you forever. Now you're just going to stand there and say 'yes'?" James asked, staring at Lily. He'd come up the the most brilliant idea to ask her out. This one had involved creating his own fireworks. He'd thankfully only singed off his eyebrows, and most of Sirius' hair, but that was a noble sacrifice in getting Lily to go out with him. He hadn't even managed to set off the first firework when Lily had shown up. She looked at him, looked at the half lit firework in his hand, put it out and said 'yes.'. He hadn't even had a chance to explain the plan. She'd just agreed to go out with him.

"Yes," Lily stated, taking the firework from his hand and tossing it in the lake. It wouldn't explode there.

"Did someone slip you a potion or something?" James asked, looking extremely puzzled.

"No, I got tired of the chase. Really, you think the only reason I would go out with you is because I was drugged? This from the man who asks me out every three days with some harebrained scheme?"

"Oh, so which one of my brilliant ideas finally won you over?" James asked, looking at Lily eagerly. He'd been particularly proud of when he'd managed to make the glow in the dark algae in the lake spell 'Lily Will You Go Out With Me'. He'd had to have the squid help me. The squid had also tried to suffocate him a few times. Totally worth it though.

"None of them. Some were clever, but honestly, I've run out of excuses and reasons to say 'no'," Lily answered. It was sort of the truth. She had run out of excuses, not that she really needed another one. James hadn't noticed her watching him, noticing just how clever he could be if he put his mind to it. Lily had tried denying how she felt about James, but at this point, even she couldn't deny she was starting to find him sort of charming.

James stared at the redhead witch standing in front of him. He'd dreamed about this moment for years. The problem was, he honestly hadn't thought about what he'd do if Lily had ever said 'yes'. Lily laughed at James' dumbstruck expression. He kind of glared at her. She gave him a smile.

"You didn't think I'd agree to a date, did you?" she asked, watching as he tried to figure out what to do now that she had accepted.

"No, I didn't. I figured you'd turn me down, same as always and then I'd have to think of a new brilliant idea to ask you out and then you'd say 'no' and the whole cycle would repeat until eternity. It was fun thinking up all those ways of asking you out. I had to make Sirius and Remus help me. I still can't believe you finally agreed to go out with me!"

"But I did agree, this time. You said something about a date? People usually go out on dates to places. We could get lunch together next Hogsmeade weekend? That sounds like a date," Lily said.

"Yes, that's exactly what I was thinking of doing, if you ever said 'yes'. So, would you like to go to lunch with me next Hogsmeade weekend?" James asked.

"I would love to," Lily answered, laughing softly. James might not have counted on her saying 'yes' his date, but she knew he'd never thought of asking her to lunch at Hogsmeade. She wondered, as she headed back to the dorms, if James would ever realize he'd never even suggested such a thing, and it had all been Lily's idea.


	32. Together

**A/N: I don't own Harry Potter or any related characters.**

**Word Count: 403**

"Where do we go from here?" Lily asked, looking at the test results.

"Where ever you want, Lils," James answered. "This doesn't change anything, well, it does, but at the same time, we talked about having a family."

"I know," Lily said, trying to keep the exasperation from her voice. "But now? Now is the worst possible time for this. There's a war on, and we're in the middle of it, and... and..." she started sobbing before even finishing the thought. James wrapped his arms around her.

"Lily, we'll figure this out. We've figured everything else out, haven't we?"

"By that you mean, you finally figured out how to get me to go out with you? And then how to propose to me in the most insane way possible?" she asked, giving him a smile.

"Exactly. If I can figure those things out, and you can figure out when to smack me for stealing the last ice cream bar, we can figure this out. Right?" James asked, looking into Lily's green eyes.

"You're right. Merlin, I hate saying that, but you're right. We'll figure this out, figure out how to tell everyone who's counting on us that we're going to have to take a rain check on fighting. We'll have to figure out what color to paint the nursery, and how to decorate it, and... names..." Lily's voice trailed off as her mind started making list after list of all the things they would need.

"We've got some time, Lils. Not everything needs to be done tonight. How about, tonight we celebrate the fact our little family will be growing."

"With pizza?" Lily asked.

"Of course, nothing but the best for my Lily," James stated. "And we should probably tell Padfoot, Mooney and Wormtail."

"Can that wait until tomorrow, or next week, I like the idea of there being something only you and I know," Lily whispered, curling against James.

"Sure, and I like the idea of having a secret too, but when we do announce it, it's going to be huge!" James stated. Lily laughed, wondering just what she'd gotten herself into. It didn't matter if they announced the pregnancy with a million fireworks, or nice quiet little cards, all that mattered was she and James were going to get through this. They would get through this the same way they got through everything – with a little insanity and each other.


	33. Really?

**A/N: I don't own Harry Potter**

**this is for Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry**

**Assignment #1**

**Medieval **

Task #9 - John Dudley: John Dudley, 1st Duke of Northumberland, was an English general, admiral, and politician, who led the government of the young King Edward VI from 1550 until 1553, and unsuccessfully tried to install Lady Jane Grey on the English throne after the King's death.

Write about being unsuccessful in something.

**Warning: mentions of nudity**

**Word Count: 676**

"Why are you naked? No, don't tell me, I really, really don't want to know, do I?" Lily asked, staring at Sirius. They were currently standing outside the portrait hole.

"It was James' idea," Sirius stated. "It's not my fault the cake didn't arrive!"

"Cake? Please tell me James wasn't planning to jump naked out of a cake to celebrate my birthday..." Lily muttered.

"No, no, but that was what started the whole idea," Sirius said brightly. Lily just sighed.

"And why are you standing out here instead of being inside?"

"Because I forgot the password?"

"I should just leave you out here, Sirius. I should just pretend I don't see or hear you, and go about my own business and not get involved in whatever the bloody hell James is plotting this time."

"But..."

"I won't, because we both know I won't because I'm a glutton for punishment for some reason. C'mon, Sirius," Lily said, taking off her robe and handing it to Sirius. "It will at least cover that," she stated nodding down to Sirius' manhood. He blushed a bit. "Now, I don't want to hear another word about this, got it?" she asked. Sirius nodded.

"Right, not a word," he answered as Lily gave the correct password and opened the door. They stepped inside and Sirius darted off to the boys' dorm. Peter and Remus looked up from their homework to see Lily.

"What happened to your robe?" Remus asked. Lily rolled her eyes.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you," she answered. "I'm going to go burn an image out of my brain and then I'll come help you with the history homework, alright, Peter?' she asked. Peter squeaked out an answer in the affirmative. Lily nodded, charging up the stairs.

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

"I got it!" Sirius announced the moment he stepped into the boys' dorm. James looked up.

"You got Lily's robe? How? And why are you naked?"

"Never mind either of those two things. All that matters is I got it, now are you going to explain the plan?"

"Simple. I'm going to enchant her robe to smell like me. When she smells me all the time, she'll realize how much she loves me and then I'll ask her out. She'll say yes, because she's in love with my scent and then we'll live happily ever after."

"That sounds... actually better than most of your other plans," Sirius commented, handing James the robe and getting dressed.

"Exactly and that's why it's going to work. You're the best Sirius, you know that? Remus and Peter completely failed on getting this," he said, admiring the robe. He touched the fabric and brought it to his nose. "It smells like her perfume," he commented.

"It should, she did just give to me outside, right before I came up here," Sirius grumbled. James took another long sniff of Lily's robe.

"I need to get to work on the potion to make it smell like me. Peter's probably got Lily distracted by homework questions. Now, how should I do this, just pour it over the robe or weave it in somehow?" James mused. Sirius had sneaked off back down the common room to try and find Remus.

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

"Here's your robe back, Lily," Sirius said, handing it to her. James had already enchanted it to smell like him. Lily took it.

"What did he do to it?" she asked.

"Who?"

"James, you dolt. You think I don't know this was some elaborate plot to do something to my robe? What's it going to do, fall off in the middle of class?" she asked.

"No, I don't think," Sirius answered truthfully. Lily narrowed her eyes, took her robe and stalked out of the tower.

"She didn't put it on," James whined, staring at Sirius.

"She will," Sirius promised as Lily cast several spells out of sight of the boys, finding out what James had done. She growled, set the robes on fire and vowed to the same to James the moment she got a chance.


	34. His God

**A/N: I don't own Harry Potter**

**This is for the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry**

**Auction – Day 7- dialogue"You can't just do whatever you want and think that's okay! You're not a god." **

**Word Count: 584 **

**Warning: Nudity, innuendo**

Remus stared at Sirius. He was standing on a table in the middle of the common room, stark naked, holding a large bouquet of flowers.

"Sirius, what did you do? Those look like Professor Sprout's geraniums."

"They might be?" Sirius said. "I picked them for you, because they're biting me and I like it when you bite me," Sirius announced, holding out the flowers to Remus. He gingerly took them.

"Why? Why would you do this?"

"Because, I love you, Remus. I love you and I want the whole world to know how I feel!"

"Have you been drinking amortenia again?"

"No!"

"Because you're not acting like yourself at all. First the serenade at breakfast, now these... Does this have something to do with why Lily is mad at James this week?"

"No?" Sirius asked, jumping off the table and landing in front of Remus. Remus tried very hard not to look down at Sirius' nakedness, not that he objected to seeing that, but there was a time and a place for everything. This was neither.

"So why is Lily mad at James then?"

"Something about the squid and lunch, and you have really, really pretty eyes. I should have someone paint a portrait of you. You know, I'm going to do that, I've got the gold, Mum and Dad won't even notice a few galleons missing, I mean, I am Sirius Black, it's not like my name doesn't make everyone want to serve me!" Sirius turned to head out of the tower, but Remus grabbed his wrist and forced him into an empty chair.

"You can't just do whatever you want and think that's okay! You're not a god!" Remus argued. Sirius laughed.

"Of course, I am, Moony, I'm a very sexy god of being awesome."

"James planned to potion Lily didn't he?" Remus asked, then pieces starting to connect. "And she did something in retaliation didn't she?"

"Maybe, I mean, there was this flash of pink light and it almost hit James, but I jumped in the way. He's my best mate, I had to protect him!"

Remus nodded. It all made sense. Lily had wanted James to make an arse of himself, and instead, she'd managed to make Sirius into... whatever this was. Now all he had to do was find Lily, get her to tell her what she'd hit Sirius with, and hopefully undo it. Thankfully, he knew Lily would be in the library studying with Severus. He also had a bar of Honeydukes chocolate James had tried to bribe him with earlier this month. Lily might be willing to help him for it?

"Sirius, I love you too, and I love how you want to do all these insane things to prove how much you love me,but if you really do love, truly deeply love me, you'll stay right here," Remus stated. Sirius nodded slowly, a smile crossing his face.

"Do I have to put on clothes?" he asked, giving Remus a cocky smile.

"I...no, you don't have to put on clothes, but I'd prefer if you didn't scar the first years with your amazingness," Remus answered. He really owed James a couple choice words for this mess. "Now I"ll be right back, hopefully. You stay here until I come back, alright?"

"Yes," Sirius answered. Remus smiled as he headed to the library, hoping Lily would reverse what she'd done and that he could make James buy him a replacement chocolate bar since it was really all his fault.


	35. This Moment

**A/N: I don't own Harry Potter**

**This is for the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry**

**Auction day 31 auction 1 Gift fic for Liza**

**Word Count: 740**

Remus glared out the window of his dorm room. He could still hear the music blaring from across the quad. He'd already closed this window, put a pillow in the wedge where the window met the windowsill and put balls of cotton in his ears.

"It's going to drive me insane, Peter, insane," he howled, trying to go back to finishing his homework. This stupid moonstone essay was not going to write itself.

"Why don't you just put on headphones?"

"Tried that, didn't work. Nothing works! Why does he have to keep blasting his music anyway? Who does he think he is, the King of Campus?"

Peter shrugged. Personally, he didn't mind the loud music, one could barely hear it unless they had super hearing like Remus.

"Why don't you go tell him to stop?" Peter suggested, fighting the urge to roll his brown eyes.

"Maybe I will," Remus muttered. "Doubt he'd listen, but at least then I'd know the face of the person who is going to drive me insane," he stated, grabbing his jacket from the back of his chair. Peter shook his head watching Remus leave and slam the door behind him. Peter already knew who was blasting their music, knew the man was exactly the type of person Remus would never have the guts to talk to himself, and knew that once the two got to know each other, they would get along swimmingly. He only hoped Sirius wouldn't do something stupid and chase Remus away before they had a chance to get to know each other.

LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

Remus stepped out of his dorm and headed for the quad. He could feel the music vibrating in his heart, could feel the beat, but chose to ignore it. He'd always heard the for some people, some lucky people, there was one person in whole world that they belonged with, one person, that for them, made their entire world vibrate.

"It's just the music," Remus muttered, continuing towards the sound. "I'll see who's doing this, see their face, glare at them, and maybe they'll get the message," he said, knowing he hated confrontation, knowing he would most likely chicken out before he did anything.

He finally reached the quad and there standing in the middle, with a large neon pink boombox was a man about Remus' age. He was dancing around wearing a pair of tight black pants, a black leather vest that ended in fringe, and a silver necklace around his neck that bounced every time he moved. His hair was long and pulled back in a pony tail.

Remus blinked staring at him. His heart pounded loudly with the beat, like a ticking clock inside his chest. Remus took another step towards him. He found he was unable to stop watching the man dance. He didn't recognize any of the moves and it seemed he was making them up as he went along.

"Hey," he said, noticing Remus staring at him.

"Um, hi, um, I was wondering..." Remus started to say, but found himself completely tongue tied as the man gave him a smile.

"If you could join me?" he asked. Remus nodded silently. That hadn't been the plan going into this, but now, apparently it was.

Great, I'm Sirius by the way, what's your name?"

"Remus," he answered. Sirius laughed, a barking kind of laugh.

"Great! So, you like this song, it's one of my faves!"

"Me too," Remus agreed, as Sirius danced around him. Remus swayed with the music, not being as brave with his moves as Sirius. He'd never thought of himself as graceful.

"Lighten up, Remus, here, like this," Sirius said, putting a hand on Remus' hip and pushing him slightly. "Sway like this, step like this, there, like that," he stated. Soon Remus was matching Sirius' moves. The batteries on the boombox had died, but neither noticed it, too lost in the music they were making together.

LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

Peter paused, listening. There was silence. He smiled. Either Remus had completely lost his mind, told Sirius to stop the music, or his plan had gone right.

"You owe me, Padfoot," he said, nodding, knowing one day, Sirius would need a favor and Peter would be just the person to do it. For now, he was content that he didn't have to listen to Remus whining about the music, or Sirius whining about how lonely he was. Life was good in this moment.


	36. Dancing With Myself

**A/N: I don't own anything you recognize. **

**This is for the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry**

**Auction Day 8 - Dancing with Myself - Billy Idol **

**Word Count: 447**

Sirius put another quarter in the jukebox and watched the records whirl around. The music started blaring and he made his way back to the dance floor. There was no one else in sight, but that didn't stop him. He loved the way the music made him feel like his entire body was made of liquid, that he could just go with the ebb and flow of the rhythm. He twirled and twisted, swaying his hips, making what he thought were cool gestures with his hands.

"Dancing with myself," he sank off key. He laughed wondering for a moment why he came to this club. There was never anyone here. He remembered how once he'd been planning on meeting someone here, a boy he'd fancied, but then he'd never showed up. That had been over a month ago, and Sirius still came here hoping he'd show. He knew it was unlikely, that he was fooling himself into thinking that, but he still found himself here every night waiting and wondering. He heard voices and turned to look.

Two guys had entered the club, one looking like he was at least ready to party. The other was wearing a tweed jacket, a button down shirt and khakis. Sirius nearly burst out laughing, but managed to stop himself as he looked at the guy's face. It was nice, with a set of scars going across it. There were some little freckles on the bridge of his nose leading to a pair of chocolate brown eyes. Sirius forgot all about the bloke who had stood him up.

"I'm Sirius!" he announced, dancing over to the guy.

"Um, Remus. James invited me, he... well, he's trying to help me get over someone. I didn't want to come out tonight."

"Come dance with me, I'm getting over someone too," Sirius stated, pulling Remus gently onto the dance floor. "We can get over them together."

Remus glanced James and nodded, allowing Sirius to lead him in time with the music.

"Thanks, who are you getting over?'

"Rabastian, you?"

"Peter," Remus answered. "He didn't... like me liking him like that."

"Ahh, well, I couldn't care less if you like blokes, I like blokes myself," Sirius said, wondering if it was too soon to ask Remus out.

"Same, um, this is going to probably piss James off because it'll mean he was right, but want to grab a bite?" Remus asked. Sirius stared at him before howling in laughter.

"I was just going to ask you the same. Sure, let's go, James can find his way home right?"

"Right," Remus answered, following Sirius out of the club and to the burger joint down the street.


	37. Welcome to the Jungle

**A/N: I don't own Harry Potter**

**This is for the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry**

**Auction day 22 - Jumanji **

**Word Count: 401**

"This is all your fault, James Potter!" Lily screamed, swatting at yet another giant mosquito. The two had been walking through this forest for what seemed like forever. Everything had gone wrong so far today. And it was all James' fault, as usual.

"How is it my fault?" he asked, following her, nearly tripping over the underbrush.

"You're the one that said let's play a game, you're the one that found the stupid game in the stupid attic!" she yelled, yanking herself free of a thorny vine. She managed to free herself and used the vine to swat off yet another mosquito the size of a cat. Merlin, she wished she had a cat, or something to attack the blood sucking bugs.

"You didn't have to play it with me," James argued as he managed to stop another mosquito from attacking Lily. She glared at him, but gave him a grateful look at seeing the mangled mosquito carcass.

"It was your bloody suggestion!" she exclaimed.

"So? I didn't know it wasn't a muggle game," James tried to argue as Lily swatted away a lemur who was trying to steal her bag.

"I swear, I ask for one normal, calm day with you and we get stuck in this stupid, insane, game with no way of getting back. I'm tired, I'm covered in mud, and I'm pretty sure one of those mosquitoes bit me!"

"We'll figure out a way out of here, Lils, I promise. Look, I think I see a clearing over there. Maybe we could set up camp?"

"Out of what? We don't have a tent, or fire, or anything that remotely resembles camping gear. We don't even have our wands!"

"We'll figure something out, or at least, you will. You're smarter than I am," James muttered, as they reached the clearing.

"You're smart in your own way, James. I mean, half those pranks, those took real genius to pull off. And I'm sure Remus and Sirius are trying to figure out what happened to us. Remus will figure it out and Sirius will somehow get us back to our world. That's just how it works," Lily stated.

"You're right, Lily, and hey, at least we'll have an awesome story to tell once we get out of here," James laughed. Lily shook her head and smacked him.

"Hey!"

"Mosquito," she stated, running into the clearing with James chasing behind her.


	38. Gathering

**A/N: I don't own Harry Potter or any related characters**

**This is for the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry**

**Auction Day 6- "I always thought I'd be abducted by aliens not a bunch of fairies..." **

**Word Count: 515**

It was the mushrooms that attracted Sirius' attention. They were large with red tops with white spots, white stems and if he looked underneath, they had greyish colored gills. He knew a lot about mushrooms. It was his job to gather them for the clan. He didn't mind.

Walking aimlessly through the woods while his brother hunted made him happy. He hated killing things if he was being honest with himself. He could hear rustling and slowly peeked out from the brush.

Aliens. Little green creatures that had come from the sky. They weren't friendly, but they hadn't been openly hostile either. Instead, they just seemed to leech the resources of the land without helping anything.

Even Sirius knew better than to pick all the mushrooms. If he left the smaller ones, they could grow bigger and feed more. These creatures just razed the land, leaving nothing behind. The large pond was empty and food was starting to become scarcer.

Sirius scampered from his hiding place towards where he'd seen he large ring of mushrooms the day before. If he got there first, he could at least salvage the largest ones. He was running so fast he wasn't looking where he was going. His foot caught on a root and he flew head first into the mushroom ring. His head hit the ground with a thunk.

Sirius opened his eyes and looked around. He wasn't outside anymore.

"Where am I?" he asked, looking around. He remembered seeing the aliens. Had they taken him somewhere?

"Oh, you've awoken."

Sirius looked at the speaker, he was tall, with pointed ears. He was most certainly not an alien, in fact, he was the most stunning creature Sirius had ever encountered.

"What are you?" he asked, his tongue tripping over his words as more of the beautiful creatures entered the room. They varied in skin tone, hair color, height, but they all had pointed ears and seemed to glow with beauty.

"We are the Fey, and we've been watching you, Sirius Friend of the Forest."

"Me?"

"Yes, we took you from those who want to harm our land, take our resources."

"You're fairies?" Sirius asked, snorting.

"We are, I am Moony, this is Prongs, that is Wormtail."

"I always thought I'd be abducted by aliens not a bunch of fairies..." Sirius muttered, realizing these creatures had saved him, they'd been watching him, and unlike this family, they wanted him.

"Those aliens are our, and your, enemy. Will you help us fight them together?"

"What's in it for me?" Sirius asked, knowing he'd do it for nothing, but curious what these Fey had to offer.

"An eternity in our world, where you shall want for nothing, and long for no one," Moony answered. Sirius smiled, looking at him. Out of the three, Moony was the one he wanted most of all.

"Deal," Sirius stated. "And in my clan, we seal a deal with a kiss," he added, grinning. Moony nodded, and kissed Sirius on the lips. Sirius returned it, feeling that he'd finally found his place in this strange world.


	39. Jealous

**A/N: I don't own Harry Potter**

**Word Count: 641**

"Can't you see she's over the moon you even asked her? You're seriously thinking about taking that back?" Remus asked, staring at Sirius. He shrugged, looking at the fire place. The flickering flames sparkled in his eyes. Remus tried not to stare at them.

"That's true, but see, Marlene and I... we're not... I mean... I love someone else, someone I was hoping would get jealous."

"So you asked Marlene to the dance to make this other person jealous?" Remus stated, shaking his head. This plot had James written all over it.

"It was James' idea," Sirius argued. "He swore it would work."

"And he swears every single plan to win Lily's heart will work too, Padfoot. How many of those have worked?" Remus pointed out. Sirius seemed to think about that for a moment.

"Three?"

"Three? Then why is Lily going to the dance with Severus and not James?"

"He asked first?" Sirius asked hopefully. Remus sighed, flopping onto the well worn couch against the Northern wall of the common room.

"Sirius, just ask this other girl what she thinks of you. Then you'll know."

"It's not a girl, Moony. It's a bloke and he's completely oblivious about how I feel about him. I mean, I don't even know if he likes blokes or not. He's never had a girlfriend though," Sirius answered, pausing to think about that small fact. Remus looked over at Sirius.

"He's never had a girlfriend. How does he act when he's around you?"

"He's sweet and cute and talks to me like I might have a brain in my head. He doesn't care about my family name," Sirius answered. Remus nodded slowly.

"Does he stare into your eyes? Does he sigh when you start talking about Marlene McKinnon and the other witches that keep throwing themselves at you?" he asked, staring at Sirius, noticing how the flickering light from the fire made his grey eyes look like they had flecks of copper in them.

"I don't know, maybe," Sirius said, throwing his hands in the air. "How would I know what you're bloody well staring at most of the time?"

"What do you mean, what I'm staring at?" Remus asked, noticing the flush crossing Sirius' face.

"I mean, the bloke..."

"Me? You've been trying to make me jealous?" Remus asked in disbelief. "But, I'm not the jealous type."

"Yeah, I think I might have noticed that. So, now that you've gotten me to confess the fact I have a bit of a crush -"

"Bit of a crush?" Remus laughed. "I think it might be beyond that," he added.

"Fine, fine, whatever this is," Sirius started to say, suddenly noticing how Remus was staring at him, how he was looking in his eyes. Sirius blinked. "Wait... you like me?"

"If I didn't at least like you, don't think we'd be friends," Remus teased. Sirius glared at him causing Remus to laugh even harder.

"You know what I mean, Moony!" Sirius howled.

"I do, and yes, I do like you Sirius. I like the way your eyes light up when you scheme. I like the way you're not defined by your family. I love the way you keep picking yourself up whenever you fail," Remus stated.

"So, um, then would you like to go the dance with me?" Sirius asked.

"You already asked Marlene, she's going to kill you if you back out, Padfoot. I think, maybe this plan might have actually backfired to the point where you can't undo it. I will be at the dance and no one says we only have to dance with the person we came with?"

"You'll dance with me?"

"Of course I will, I'm a horrible dancer, but I'd love to dance with you, Sirius," Remus stated, giving his best friend and no longer secret crush a huge smile.


End file.
